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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 5
There are people believing that attending a university or a college is the best way to start a good career, while others think that getting a job right after school is a better options. In my opinion, getting a university degree is the obvious way to start a successful career. One simply can not have a good career without a degree, because all the high status jobs require one. Nobody can get a job as a lawyer, doctor or an engineer without getting a diploma related to these professions. Although there are occupations that may not require a degree, most of the time they don’t offer a successful career path compared to the mentioned jobs above. Therefore, attending a college or a university is the best way to start a work life. However, some people may advocate that getting a job right after school is better, solely because you start your work life early and gain a lot more experience compared to someone of your own age that attended a college. Nowadays, work experience is a valuable asset and can be advantageous in a competitive job market. For example, some companies may prefer experience over knowledge. Therefore, people may choose to bypass university or college to get this advantage. In conclusion, I believe getting a diploma is much more valuable in order to have an accomplished career. Although some may think that jumping straight to the work life could be better, because starting early means more experience and gives a significant competitive edge to get a job.
There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believing that attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or a college is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
right after school is a better options. In my opinion, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree is the obvious way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
a successful career.

One
simply
can not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
without a degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the high status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require one. Nobody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a lawyer, doctor or an engineer without getting a diploma related to these professions. Although there are occupations that may not require a degree, most of the time they don’t offer a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path compared to the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
above.
Therefore
, attending a college or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may advocate that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
right after school is better,
solely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life early and gain a lot more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
compared to someone of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
age that attended a college. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is a valuable asset and can be advantageous in a competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
over knowledge.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may choose to bypass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this advantage.

In conclusion
, I believe getting a diploma is much more valuable in order to have an accomplished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that jumping straight to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life could be better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
starting early means more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and gives a significant competitive edge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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