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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v.34

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 34
Education means imparting knowledge to a person. Better education is the first step to enter into the best career. Some people are on the view that studying at college or university is the best way to a successful career, while others are in another opinion that getting a job after school is better. This essay analyses both these arguments. On the one hand, there are some benefits of getting a job straight after school. Firstly, work means steady earning, so it helps to earn money and thus reduces the financial burden of the family especially among low-class communities. Another important benefit is that doing a particular job creates a feeling of responsibility. As a result, the person becomes more independent and self-reliant at younger age itself. On the other hand, it is fairly easy to understand the advantages of studying at university or college. Firstly, learning always increases our knowledge and widens our educational horizons as well. This helps in the moulding of overall personality and to succeed in his career. Secondly, professional education or higher education at university level is the backbone of one person’s career. To make it more clear, basic education from schools helps to identify our talents and interests of various subjects and courses and college level education is the field where we sow the seeds for better career opportunities. More over it helps to get better job opportunities. This is because proper higher level education improves the qualification and the door to better job places. Also, helps to get good remuneration.   In addition, proper and good education always acts as a better deposit for the successful career and it is an asset. To conclude, when we weigh both the view points, it is crystal clear that studying at university or college is the best route to success in career. Getting a job after school has more demerits than merits. The government should take proper steps to give better education to a higher level to all irrespective of financial status, religion, casts etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
means imparting knowledge to a person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the
first
step to enter into the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are on the view that studying at college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the best way to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, while others are in another opinion that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. This essay analyses both these arguments.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
straight after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Firstly
, work means steady earning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to earn money and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the financial burden of the family
especially
among low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
communities. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit is that doing a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creates a feeling of responsibility.
As a result
, the person becomes more independent and self-reliant at younger age itself.

On the other hand
, it is
fairly
easy to understand the advantages of studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college.
Firstly
, learning always increases our knowledge and widens our educational horizons
as well
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
of
overall
personality and to succeed in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Secondly
, professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
is the backbone of one person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to identify our talents and interests of various subjects and courses and college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the field where we sow the seeds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
opportunities. More over it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
proper higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the qualification and the door to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
places.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
remuneration.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In addition
, proper and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
always acts as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
deposit for the successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and it is an asset.

To conclude
, when we weigh both the view points, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college is the best route to success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has more demerits than merits. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take proper steps to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
to all irrespective of financial status, religion, casts etc.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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