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Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should, therefore, expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. v.1

Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should, therefore, expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. v. 1
Smoking is scientifically proven to be harmful to both active and passive smokers. Governments all over the world have enforced strong regulations to curb its usage. While the initiative to charge more for medical expenses of a smoker is laudable, but I believe that this will be a clear discrimination of people's right in a democratic society. There are many situations where a medical problem has nothing to do whether a person smokes or not. For instance car accident where the injury is largely due to mistakes committed by either driver and has no relation with smoking. People in these cases should be treated with equality. Another example is viral flu or allergy where is smoking is not the root cause and it happens due to sudden changes in environmental conditions or can be caught on the fly. However, tobacco addicts should be penalised where the illness is closely related to tobacco intake. For instance lung cancer, this is caused due to the uncontrolled usage of tobacco over a continued period of time. In many countries, cigarette advertisements often flag message to caution its consumers against the harmful effects of its intake. Governments also arrange awareness programs and the world celebrates tobacco free day. But still these warnings and messages are ignored by chain smokers and they continue to ruin their own life and damage the ecosystem. To conclude, I believe that smokers should pay more in medical cases related to smoking only and they should be treated and charged with equality for any other disease. This will ensure their rights being a citizen of a democratic society.
Smoking
is
scientifically
proven to be harmful to both active and passive smokers.
Governments
all over the world have enforced strong regulations to curb its usage. While the initiative to charge more for medical expenses of a smoker is laudable,
but
I believe that this will be a
clear
discrimination of
people
's right in a democratic society.

There are
many
situations where a medical problem has nothing to do whether a person smokes or not.
For instance
car accident where the injury is
largely
due to mistakes committed by either driver and has no relation with
smoking
.
People
in these cases should
be treated
with equality. Another example is viral flu or allergy where is
smoking
is not the root cause and it happens due to sudden
changes
in environmental conditions or can
be caught
on the
fly
.

However
,
tobacco
addicts should be
penalised
where the illness is
closely
related to
tobacco
intake.
For instance
lung cancer, this
is caused
due to the uncontrolled usage of
tobacco
over a continued period of time. In
many
countries, cigarette advertisements
often
flag message to caution its consumers against the harmful effects of its intake.
Governments
also
arrange awareness programs and the world celebrates
tobacco
free day.
But
still
these warnings and messages are
ignored
by chain
smokers and
they continue to ruin their
own
life and damage the ecosystem.

To conclude
, I believe that smokers should pay more in medical cases related to
smoking
only and
they should
be treated
and charged with equality for any other disease. This will ensure their rights being a citizen of a democratic society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should, therefore, expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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