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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent so you think this is a positive trend. v.15

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. v. 15
Going shopping used to be a basic, indispensable task for housework. But currently, people tend to see it as an entertainment activity or pleasure outing. In my essay, I'll discuss about my perspective, if it's a positive trend or not. As I said, for the earlier generations, shopping was like a chore for them to buy essential items for their household and they had to visit several stores markets since each shop had limited range of things they need to buy. It's very different on nowadays when you can easy to get things you want in the supermarket or shopping mall. Besides, almost shops have air conditioner which makes you feel cool and refreshing whenever you step into it. The organization, eye-catching decorations and different various items in front of your eyes, which makes you hard to resist and want to stay longer to consider if you want to buy more. It's enjoyable to spend money on what you like, but sometimes it could be a bad decision when you waste your money on unnecessary things that you don't really need it. As a result, you can't help it but waste your time and money on 'those' since it was so enjoyable. On the one hand, people often go to shopping on the weekend with their families and friends are the things I normally see in my daily life. Undoubtedly, this is the way for them to spend their time connect closer with people they loved. But overall, this is not an ideal plan since they don't have time for other good activities such as sport. In my opinion, I highly recommend going swimming or playing some activities that include solidarity and teamwork as it good for your health and help you understand your mate more. In conclusions, it is undeniable to think that shopping nowadays is less tedious, but it's not really a positive hobby to do. It may be good for the sellers, but not for consumers if you replace it with other healthy activity.
Going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a basic, indispensable task for housework.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
currently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
or pleasure outing. In my essay, I'll
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
perspective, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend or not.

As I said, for the earlier generations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
was like a chore for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
essential items for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
household and
they had to visit several stores markets since each shop had limited range of things they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
on nowadays when you can easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things you want in the supermarket or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall.
Besides
, almost shops have air conditioner which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you feel cool and refreshing whenever you step into it. The organization, eye-catching decorations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
various items in front of your eyes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to resist and want to stay longer to consider if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
enjoyable to spend money on what you like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decision when you waste your money on unnecessary things that you don't
really
need it.
As a result
, you can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
waste your time and money on 'those' since it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
enjoyable.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the weekend with their families and friends are the things I
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in my daily life.
Undoubtedly
, this is the way for them to spend their time connect closer with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
overall
, this is not an ideal plan since they don't have time for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as sport. In my opinion, I
highly
recommend going swimming or playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that include solidarity and teamwork as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for your health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you understand your mate more.

In conclusions, it is undeniable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
nowadays is less tedious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
not
really
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
hobby to do. It may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the sellers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for consumers if you replace it with other healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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