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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.20

Certain groups of people thought that for a successful career one should study at university or college. On the other hand, a herd of people believes that doing a job straight after school is a good option. Despite this fact, I think both thinkings are situational based. In our society, doing higher education is vital for an individual as it will help them to build their career. Making a foundation strong is the main focus, due to the fact that it will help our children to survive efficiently. For example, a wealthy family always wants their children to study in uni, and then their college, which is an ideal process of education. There is also a part of our society that exists which cannot fulfill their families need twice a day, These people are not able to give good education to their children due to financial issues. However, it does not mean that they do not want to teach their children's but they are financially bound. In order to support their families, they prefer more helping hands, which leads their children to do jobs as soon as possible. To conclude, If you are wealthy, you will choose to follow an ideal procedure. While, numerous people out there are dreaming of food to survive. We all are human beings, some of us having lavish life while others are dreaming of it. In my view, it is our responsibility to help others as much as we can. It could be either in many ways as per our capacity. For example, making donations to NGOs can help many children to get at least their elementary needs.

Certain groups of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonedassumedbelievedconsidered
thought
 that for a successful career one should study at university or college. On the other hand
, a herd of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 believes that doing a job straight after school is a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 option. Despite this fact, I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 both Possible spelling mistake found.thinkingthin kings
thinkings
 are situational based.

In our society, doing higher education is vital for an individual as it will You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 them to build their career. Making a foundation strong is the main focus, due to the fact that it will You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 our You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 to survive efficiently
. For example
, a wealthy family always wants their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 to study in uni, and then their college, which is an ideal process of education.

There is also
 a part of our society that exists which cannot fulfill their families need twice a day, These You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 are not able to give This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 education to their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 due to financial issues. However
, it does not mean that they do not want to teach their children's This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 they are financially
 bound. In order to support their families, they prefer more helping hands, which leads their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 to do jobs as This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
 as possible.

To conclude
, If you are wealthy, you will choose to follow an ideal procedure. “While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, numerous You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 out there are dreaming of food to survive. We all are human beings, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 of us having lavish life while others are dreaming of it. In my view, it is our responsibility to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
 others as much as we can. It could be either in This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 ways as per our capacity. For example
, making donations to NGOs can You use this word too often, consider replacing it withadviceuseservicesupportcomforthand
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 at least their elementary needs. 