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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.12

It is often argued by some that students should start working right after finishing the school and the others believe that they should work after graduating at university or college. while there are some negative aspects with students working straight after school, I agree with the view that they should finish studies at university or college to succeed in the career. Students working right after the school leads to several issues in their career. Firstly, students lacks the right skill set. In other words, knowledge gained from schools may not enough for students to perform the job duties because primary schools teaches only fundamentals. Even if they have sufficient skills, but there will not be any growth in their professional career as they will be considered as under qualified in education. For example, jobholders who have more than 20years of experience with low educational qualification earns less salary than entry level jobholder with high educational qualification. However, I believe university or college education is necessary for the students who seek high level jobs. University teaches students advanced lessons which are proceedings of what they learned in schools. It helps students to get complete knowledge on the subject. For example, student may get a chance to learn only fundamentals of mathematics in schools but in order to perform complex calculations student requires advanced formulas which are thought only in universities. That is why, it is important to study at university level to become successful in the career they choose. In conclusion, It's not a good idea to jump in to the work immediately after school. Students should complete education at university or college level to lead a successful career.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
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some
that
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students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working right after finishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the others believe that they should work after
The verb ‘to graduate’ requires the preposition ‘from’: “graduating from”.
graduating
at
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university
or college.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
while
there are
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some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects with
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students
working straight after
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school
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that they should finish studies at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college to succeed in the career.

Students working right after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
leads to several issues in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Firstly
,
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students
lacks the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set.
In other words
, knowledge gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform the job duties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
primary
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schools
teaches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fundamentals. Even if they have sufficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will not be any growth in their professional
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career
as they will
be considered
as under qualified in education.
For example
, jobholders who have more than 20years of experience with low educational qualification earns less salary than entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
jobholder with high educational qualification.

However
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college education is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who seek high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
jobs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
advanced lessons which are proceedings of what they learned in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
complete knowledge on the subject.
For example
,
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student
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fundamentals of mathematics in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in order to perform complex
An apostrophe may be missing.
calculations
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student
requires advanced formulas which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
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universities
.
That is
why, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
to become successful in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
they choose.

In conclusion
, It's not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to jump in to the work immediately after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should complete education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
to lead a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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