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You had just missed a friend’s party, write a letter to apology. In your letter, you should: apology to your friendexplain why you couldn’t attend the partysay what steps you will take to avoid in future. v.1

You had just missed a friend’s party, write a letter to apology. In your letter, you should: apology to your friendexplain why you couldn’t attend the partysay what steps you will take to avoid in future. v. 1
Many developed nations are facing lack of good nutrition and obesity. To solve this problem, some people argue that government should tax on fast food, but some argue that it is not a perfect solution. On the one hand, fast foods are one of the causes of poor nourishment and obesity. Ingredients of fast food are often greasy, which can be side-effects for our health and it is not suitable for prolonged eating. However, because of its reasonable price, many people are still choosing fast foods instead of having a balanced-diet. For example, I would prefer a burger and coke for my lunch because I don't want to spend my time and money for a healthy meal. Besides, fast foods are available in many places. So, taxation on fast foods may bring a second-thought of buying and selling them to the consumers and the retailers respectively. On the other hand, even the government will tax on fast food, the problems of health issues will not be minimized. Only a proper diet may bring sufficient nourishment and it will be beneficial for our fitness. For instance, we need to have a certain amount of vegetables, fruits, fish and meats, and some ministries should educate properly to the public. Another way to solve obesity is to have a regular exercise. To do so, the local authorities should provide public gyms in some places. To sum up, I partly agree to tax on fast foods, in fact, we should only focus on the other effective ways to reduce obesity and poor nutrition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developed nations are facing lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
nutrition and obesity. To solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that it is not a perfect solution.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are one of the causes of poor nourishment and obesity. Ingredients of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
greasy, which can be
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
for our health and it is not suitable for prolonged eating.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its reasonable price,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
instead
of having a balanced-diet.
For example
, I would prefer a burger and coke for my lunch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I don't want to spend my time and money for a healthy meal.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, taxation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may bring a second-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of buying and selling them to the consumers and the retailers
respectively
.

On the other hand
, even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the problems of health issues will not
be minimized
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a proper diet may bring sufficient nourishment and it will be beneficial for our fitness.
For instance
, we need to have a certain amount of vegetables, fruits, fish and meats, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ministries should educate
properly
to the public. Another way to solve obesity is to have a regular exercise. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the local authorities should provide public gyms in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places.

To sum up, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, in fact, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the other effective ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
obesity and poor nutrition.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You had just missed a friend’s party, write a letter to apology. In your letter, you should: apology to your friendexplain why you couldn’t attend the partysay what steps you will take to avoid in future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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