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1151 WM 1056 are there many differences between family parties and parties given by friends? why do you think this is? v.1

1151 WM 1056 are there many differences between family parties and parties given by friends? why do you think this is? v. 1
The advent of the internet has improved our means of accessing information. In my view I believe is a positive development because it has helped student's in the research field and also helps in improving quality life. To begin with, the internet, as to provide so much help student when making educational research with the help of several writes up that is uploaded in various learning sites. In other words, it will make easy of their research study when there is prompt access to information required for the study. For instance, a study has shown that nowadays it takes a student a lesser period in concluding their research, unlike in the past where information is not readily available in soft copy. Hence, it has been proven to improve student research studies. Another point to consider is that the internet has improved the quality of life of people through easy access to prompt information. People these days now check the information that relates to their health and well being without going to visit a physician. For instance, there is a different application that can be used to monitor heartbeat, sugar level and even cholesterol level which has made life easy for people. Thus, the internet has reduced d the rate at which people go to the hospital when compared to a century ago. To conclude, the presence of the internet as help people have quality information at their fingertips, which have helped students in the research field and also improve the people's quality life which has indirectly reduced the cost of health care.
The advent of the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our means of accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In my view I believe is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
student's in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
field and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the internet, as to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
when making educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of several writes up that
is uploaded
in various learning sites.
In other words
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easy of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
study when there is prompt access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
required for the study.
For instance
, a study has shown that nowadays it takes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
a lesser period in concluding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, unlike in the past where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is not
readily
available in soft copy.
Hence
, it has
been proven
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
studies.

Another point to consider is that the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through easy access to prompt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that relates to their health and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
without going to visit a physician.
For instance
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
application that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to monitor heartbeat, sugar level and even cholesterol level which has made life easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
d the rate at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the hospital when compared to a century ago.

To conclude
, the presence of the internet as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
at their fingertips, which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
field and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
life which has
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the cost of health care.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1151 WM 1056 are there many differences between family parties and parties given by friends? why do you think this is? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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