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Some people believe that residents are responsible for the place where they live to be clean and tidy. Others believes that government is responsible for it. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that residents are responsible for the place where they live to be clean and tidy. Others believes that government is responsible for it. v. 1
Recently, there are campaigns from the non-profit organization placing emphasis about the cleanliness of the neighborhood and apartments. It is believed that the house owners should manage their place in a conducive state. However, some refute to that notion and stated that the government should be the one plays the part to the sanitation of surrounding neighborhood. In my opinion, the cleanness of the place completely depends on the resident as the government could not always monitor the place. In this essay, both of these notions will be discussed. Firstly, the responsibility of keeping the surrounding of the neighborhood neat and tidy is dependent on how the owner takes care of it. This is because, they are the ones who spends most their time at their house and therefore they knew more of the do’s and don’ts of their surroundings. Besides that, ensuring the place will definitely keep out of the harmful infection such as dengue and leptospirosis as there is a saying ‘prevention is better than cure’. Imagine if the place is filthy, the number of vectors will increase, spreading the disease throughout the people who resides there. On the other hand, the government also plays a crucial part in keeping the cleanliness of the place. Law enforcement should be placed for those violated the hygienic of the surrounding by throwing the trash in the restricted place. Therefore, whoever disregards the rules will be penalized or put into jail. For example, the landowner will be fined RM2000 and doing social service if their place is unsanitary and contains Aedes mosquito larvae. This action should be done as some of the residents are too stubborn and tend to neglect their responsibility. In conclusion, in my view, the residents should be the one held huge role in ensuring the hygienic of the environment, but the government should assist the landowner as well in keeping the neighborhood a cleaner place.
Recently, there are campaigns from the non-profit organization placing emphasis about the cleanliness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
and apartments. It
is believed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owners should manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in a conducive state.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refute to that notion and stated that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be the one plays the part to the sanitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
. In my opinion, the cleanness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
completely depends on the resident as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could not always monitor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. In this essay, both of these notions will
be discussed
.

Firstly
, the responsibility of keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
neat and tidy is dependent on how the owner takes care of it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are the ones who
Did you mean "spend"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'ones' should be used.
spends
most their time at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
therefore
they knew more of the
Did you mean the idiom "dos and don'ts"?
do’s and don’ts
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surroundings
.
Besides
that, ensuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
out of the harmful infection such as dengue and
Possible spelling mistake found.
leptospirosis
as there is a saying ‘prevention is better than cure’. Imagine if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is filthy, the number of vectors will increase, spreading the disease throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "reside"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
resides
there.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
plays a crucial part in keeping the cleanliness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Law enforcement should
be placed
for those violated the hygienic of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
by throwing the trash in the restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Therefore
, whoever disregards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
will
be penalized
or put into jail.
For example
, the landowner will
be fined
RM2000 and doing social service if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is unsanitary and contains
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aedes
mosquito larvae. This action should
be done
as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
residents are too stubborn and tend to neglect their responsibility.

In conclusion
, in my view, the residents should be the one held huge role in ensuring the hygienic of the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should assist the landowner
as well
in keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighborhood
a cleaner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that residents are responsible for the place where they live to be clean and tidy. Others believes that government is responsible for it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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