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Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. v. 4
Due to modernisation and globalisation, people are able to consume foods from various sources which has finally led them to prioritize local foods for their own goods. In my opinion, I believe that it is the advantages that outweighs the disadvantages. This essay will demonstrate that consumption of locally produced foods will benefit in terms of health along with deflation in food price followed by a primary disadvantage of shortage of foods. First of all, foods that are produced locally by the farmers are more healthy than the imported products. In other words, foods which are imported goes through packaging and is shipped to a vast distance which causes degradation in their nutrition values thus posing a higher risk on people’s health. However, this possible risk is widely reduced when people go and buy fresh foods produced by their own people. Secondly, the production of foods within a country territory will ultimately reduce their market price. In terms of imported foods, they are more likely to be expensive due to the fact that they are imposed with various costs like shipping charge, TAX, Sales TAX and packaging cost. But, for local industries, these factors ar absent which result in cheap rates in the market. For instance, it was found out that clothes costs three times more than the original price when imported. Those opposed to this say that it is almost impossible for a country too produce all necessary foods within its own border. However, it is not certainly true because when citizens consume foods from their local economy, this causes rise in national income and growth of more national industries hence eliminating the food shortage. For instance, Russia generate electricity more than they require and even exports to China all by itself. In conclusion, the fact that a country will experience less health issues and decrease in food price clearly outweighs the flawed arguments that people will face food scarcity.
Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from various sources which has
finally
led them to prioritize local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. In my opinion, I believe that it is the advantages that outweighs the disadvantages. This essay will demonstrate that consumption of
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will benefit in terms of health along with deflation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
followed by a primary disadvantage of shortage of foods.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that
are produced
locally
by the farmers are more healthy than the imported products.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which
are imported
goes through packaging and
is shipped
to a vast distance which causes degradation in their nutrition values
thus
posing a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
However
, this possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
produced by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
within a country territory will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. In terms of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, they are more likely to be expensive due to the fact that they
are imposed
with various costs like shipping charge, TAX, Sales TAX and packaging cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, for local industries, these factors
Possible spelling mistake found.
ar
absent which result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rates in the market.
For instance
, it
was found
out that clothes costs three times more than the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
when imported.

Those opposed to this say that it is almost impossible for a country
Did you mean "to produce"?
too produce
all necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
within its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
border.
However
, it is not
certainly
true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when citizens consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from their local economy, this causes rise in national income and growth of more national industries
hence
eliminating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortage.
For instance
, Russia generate electricity more than they require and even exports to China all by itself.

In conclusion
, the fact that a country will experience less health issues and decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
clearly
outweighs the flawed arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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