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Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes. Should these homes be constructed in existing cities or new towns be built in the countryside? v.5

Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes. Should these homes be constructed in existing cities or new towns be built in the countryside? v. 5
With ever increasing population, especially in the developing nations, more and more homes need to be built to accommodate them. While some think that these needs to be made in the large metropolis, others believe that smaller towns need to be developed in the rural parts. This essay will explain why it is important to quarter them in the countryside. In fact, if more homes are added to the ever congested cities, it would further add to their traffic and pollution level woes. For example, it is a widely known fact that the most polluted places in the world are the regions with the highest concentration of inhabitants. Moreover, the cost involved in constructing these new homes will be drastically higher. With increasing numbers, not only will it reduce the standard of living of the public already present, but also makes it harder for new residents to move in. On the other hand, constructing homes in the countryside has a lot more advantages. Firstly, it involves lesser cost. For instance, the cost of the land property in rural areas will be much lesser compared to in the city centre. Secondly, it contributes to lessening the traffic and congestion in the cities. Finally, With more residents more job opportunities would be created for others to move in, which in turn contributes to the development of the rural parts and consequently in a multi-centric development approach of the economy. To conclude, in my view, I believe that because of the increasing population, towns need to be developed in the rural parts of the country rather than building new homes in the cities. It helps in de-congesting the cities as well as boosting the regional rural economy.
With
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
population,
especially
in the developing nations, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be built
to accommodate them. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be made
in the large metropolis, others believe that smaller towns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be developed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
parts. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to quarter them in the countryside.

In fact, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the ever congested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it would
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to their traffic and pollution level woes.
For example
, it is a
widely
known fact that the most polluted places in the world are the regions with the highest concentration of inhabitants.
Moreover
, the cost involved in constructing these new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
will be
drastically
higher. With increasing numbers, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the standard of living of the public already present,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it harder for new residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in.

On the other hand
, constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the countryside has a lot more advantages.
Firstly
, it involves lesser cost.
For instance
, the cost of the land property in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas will be much lesser compared to in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
Secondly
, it contributes to lessening the traffic and congestion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Finally
, With more residents more job opportunities would
be created
for others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in, which in turn contributes to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
parts and
consequently
in a multi-centric development approach of the economy.

To conclude
, in my view, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing population, towns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be developed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
parts of the country
rather
than building new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-congesting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as well
as boosting the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
economy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes. Should these homes be constructed in existing cities or new towns be built in the countryside? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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