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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v.7

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 7
Presently, most of the people are willing to buy products that are manufactured by multi-national companies. Besides, they were entering into the marketing with a huge promotion, whereas they started attracting people to purchase their items. In this essay, I will debate on the problems caused by these organizations, and how to attract the public to purchase the local items. Interesting, the multi-national organizations are entering into several fields, although they had no idea on achieving profits. Moreover, if once they had entered into a specific market, they will rule the market and fix the prices of various products. Even though the standards were not maintained according to the regulations, they will manipulate the government. A research stated that 90% of the inefficient products were purchased by the public in India was developed by the larger firms. On the other hand, people, who were highly educated, started purchasing local products. While this will not help them in encouraging local vendors, but it is also useful to reduce exports. Indeed, the public is showing more interest in encouraging local items because they are getting huge discounts. For instance, a person can easily contact the vendor and ask them to reduce the price of a particular product. In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the multi-national organizations were interested in investing huge amounts in marketing and advertising of a product because they can attract a lot of customers. However, people should opt to buy local products, which is useful to reduce exports. I believe that it's our duty to purchase the items, which are manufactured in our state or country.
Presently
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are manufactured
by multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Besides
, they were entering into the marketing with a huge promotion, whereas they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their items. In this essay, I will debate on the problems caused by these organizations, and how to attract the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items.

Interesting, the multi-national organizations are entering into several fields, although they had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on achieving profits.
Moreover
, if once they had entered into a specific market, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
the market and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the prices of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Even though
the standards were not maintained according to the regulations, they will manipulate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
stated that 90% of the inefficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by the public in India
was developed
by the larger firms.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who were
highly
educated,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. While this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
exports.
Indeed
, the public is showing more interest in encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are getting huge discounts.
For instance
, a person can
easily
contact the vendor and ask them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the price of a particular product.

In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the multi-national organizations
were interested
in investing huge amounts in marketing and advertising of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
customers.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which is useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
exports. I believe that it's our duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the items, which
are manufactured
in our state or country.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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