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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.10

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 10
With the rising population and ever increasing competition, some pupils are required to take up jobs along with their education, which in turn can reduce their available time for studies and put them under greater stress. This essay will discuss the causes of this problem and suggest solutions to it. In fact, there could be many reasons why students take up employment along with their education. Out of all, the most important one would be the need to support themselves financially. For example, it is widely known that because of the ever rising tuition fees and living expenses, it has become impossible for the middle class families in the country to send the kids for their graduate studies. Additionally, there are students in the university who would want to gain experience while studying, which in turn would help increase their employability. Fortunately, there are many possible solutions to this problem. Firstly, even if the kids are working part-time, the hours they put in needs to be regulated. For instance, in countries like the UK, the authorities have regulated the hours of part-time to 20 hours per week. Secondly, students could opt for education loan or other financial aids like scholarships to reduce burden upon their heads, which in turn enables them to focus more on their studies. Likewise, there are many universities in the country that provide scholarships to children from less privileged families. Finally, in order to not affect their course results, students need to schedule and put in the required number of hours every week, for the studies. To conclude, in order to tide over their financial woes and to carry about their dreams of graduating simultaneously, many students opt for jobs while studying. This has become a new age issue, especially wherein students these days focus more on the work rather than their exams; which needs to be addressed urgently.
With the rising population and
ever increasing
competition,
some
pupils
are required
to take up jobs along with their education, which in turn can
reduce
their available time for studies and put them under greater
stress
. This essay will discuss the causes of this problem and suggest solutions to it.

In fact, there could be
many
reasons why
students
take up employment along with their education. Out of all, the most
important
one would be the
need
to support themselves
financially
.
For example
, it is
widely
known that
because
of the ever rising tuition fees and living expenses, it has become impossible for the middle
class
families in the country to
send
the kids for their graduate studies.
Additionally
, there are
students
in the university who would want to gain experience while studying, which in turn would
help
increase their employability.

Fortunately
, there are
many
possible solutions to this problem.
Firstly
, even if the kids are working part-time, the
hours
they put in
needs
to
be regulated
.
For instance
, in countries like the UK, the authorities have regulated the
hours
of part-time to 20
hours
per week.
Secondly
,
students
could opt for education loan or other financial aids like scholarships to
reduce
burden upon their heads, which in turn enables them to focus more on their studies.
Likewise
, there are
many
universities in the country that provide scholarships to children from less privileged families.
Finally
, in order to not affect their course results,
students
need
to schedule and put in the required number of
hours
every week, for the studies.

To conclude
, in order to tide over their financial woes and to carry about their dreams of graduating
simultaneously
,
many
students
opt for jobs while studying. This has become a new age issue,
especially
wherein
students
these days focus more on the work
rather
than their exams; which
needs
to
be addressed
urgently
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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