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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.5

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children. v. 5
Reading stories from a book is a basic way for children to obtain knowledge and open their minds. Some people believe that children should not only focus on watching TV or playing computer games, they also have to read books. This essay will argue why reading books is completely better than watching TV or playing computer games. Learning from the book is an effective and useful compared to watching TV or playing computer games, because it is a form of mind exercise. Reading from books help children's to make imagination and to develop a different kind of characters and views in their minds. Like any other skill, reading takes practice. Furthermore, reading books also help children to master language. They can learn vocabulary and pronunciation. Because of the above reason people believe reading is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. On the other hand, watching television spread faster knowledge so that becomes straightforward for children to understand, but too many moving objects and colourful images can distract children from doing other works like homework, preparing for examination. Playing video games can be very addictive. It can also lead to health problems, such as shortsightedness. As per research, 85% students are suffering from law vision and wear spectacles. Because of above reasons people prefer to read books rather than playing computer games or watching TV. In conclusion, the essay argued that why watching TV has its own benefits, but reading is entirely better. In my opinion reading is the way to improve yourself, whereas watching tv and playing video games are like an addiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
stories from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is a basic way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain knowledge and open their minds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on watching TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. This essay will argue why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is completely better than watching TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games.

Learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is an effective and useful compared to watching TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a form of mind exercise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children's to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
imagination and to develop a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of characters and views in their minds. Like any other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
takes practice.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to master language. They can learn vocabulary and pronunciation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the above reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is better than watching TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for children.

On the other hand
, watching television spread faster knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that becomes straightforward for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to understand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
moving objects and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
images can distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from doing other works like homework, preparing for examination.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
addictive. It can
also
lead to health problems, such as shortsightedness. As per research, 85% students are suffering from law vision and wear spectacles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of above reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or watching TV.

In conclusion
, the essay argued that why watching TV has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is
entirely
better. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
yourself, whereas watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are like an
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
addiction
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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