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Some people believe that providing better education opportunities and job training should replace prison sentences in combating crime. Personally I think this is a one-sided point of view and therefore disagree with it. v.1

Some people believe that providing better education opportunities and job training should replace prison sentences in combating crime. Personally I think this is a one-sided point of view and therefore disagree with it. v. 1
Some people believe that providing better education opportunities and job training should replace prison sentences in combating crime. Personally I think this is a one-sided point of view and therefore disagree with it. There are a number of compelling reasons why it is unreasonable to consider imprisonment to be an obsolete practice. Prison sentences serve as one of the embodiments of justice and fairness in society. When a person commits an unlawful act, be it a misdemeanor or a felony, there should be punishments or else society would fall into chaos. Furthermore, prisons are not only a physical place that keeps criminals contained to protect innocent people but also a reminder of the consequences of violating the law. Although better education and job training can enhance a person’s awareness and employability that will, in theory, reduce crime, they cannot eliminate all the elements that induce a person to become a criminal. In fact, there have been many heinous crimes committed by well-educated people, for example the infamous sexual assault on a Vietnamese child in Japan. It is naive to expect everyone to follow the law just because they are provided with better education and job skills. We cannot disregard the fact that some people are morally bad by nature and some people who are psychologically unstable may show a propensity for crime. In conclusion, better education and job training are not the ultimate answer to crime, nor can they replace prison sentences in this regard. It is the combination of both measures that can truly make a difference in the fight against crime.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
training should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences in combating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Personally
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a one-sided point of view and
therefore
disagree with it.

There are a number of compelling reasons why it is unreasonable to consider imprisonment to be an obsolete practice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
sentences serve as one of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
embodiments
of justice and fairness in society. When a person commits an unlawful act, be it a misdemeanor or a felony, there should be punishments or else society would fall into chaos.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a physical place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
criminals contained to protect innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a reminder of the consequences of violating the law.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
training can enhance a person’s awareness and employability that will, in theory,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, they cannot eliminate all the elements that induce a person to become a criminal. In fact, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed by well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
the infamous sexual assault on a Vietnamese child in Japan. It is naive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
everyone to follow the law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. We cannot disregard the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
morally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
by nature and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
psychologically
unstable may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a propensity for crime.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
training are not the ultimate answer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, nor can they replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences in this regard. It is the combination of both measures that can
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference in the fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that providing better education opportunities and job training should replace prison sentences in combating crime. Personally I think this is a one-sided point of view and therefore disagree with it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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