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Nowadays some people think that public libraries are not necessary, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion and examples v.1

Nowadays some people think that public libraries are not necessary, while others disagree. 1
Some people now find public libraries to be unnecessary Yet others don't think so. These both make me to agree as both of them do make sense when it comes to learning a foreign language or, say, just enjoying reading. From one angle, public libraries are preliminary sources to those who are in need of getting something new, or acquiring languages. Furthermore, public libraries are conventional foundations. They are real sources of huge amount of information. I also think that all these are obvious and undeniable. In my opinion, public libraries are the places where you can enjoy and feel the real education atmosphere and where one is able spend time efficiently. For instance, Alisher Navai national library, situated in Tashkent, can be a compatible example for this, I think. However, public libraries are unnecessary to some. As a substitude for it, they prefer other things like the Internet, more precisely, the web-sites including various and numerous e-books on them. Some think that such e-books and educational web-sites on the Internet are, in turn, more beneficial. People can download desperate e-version of books at ease and store a huge number of them on their mobile phones. I think, these can be true at some point as there are not so many prestigious and enormous libraries including wide-range of books. Sometimes people are unable to find what they search for. Not all the countries allocate enough money to the establishment of libraries. For example, according to a Russian survey, the majority of people(68%) said public libraries were not enough. Instead, they would rather Internet sources because of good quality connection. To conclude, both of the arguments made me to agree as they make sense when it comes to learning, or just enjoying reading. For one thing, public libraries are initial sources of learning useful things like languages. For another thing, e-books and a number of educational web-sites are more efficient in as much as being time-saving and easy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries to be unnecessary
Yet
others don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. These both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
as both of them do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to learning a foreign language or, say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enjoying reading.

From one angle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are preliminary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to those who are in need of getting something new, or acquiring languages.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are conventional foundations. They are real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of huge amount of information. I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that all these are obvious and undeniable. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are the places where you can enjoy and feel the real education atmosphere and where one is
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'spend'.
able spend
time
efficiently
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alisher
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navai
national library, situated in Tashkent, can be a compatible example for this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are unnecessary to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. As a
Possible spelling mistake found.
substitude
for it, they prefer other things like the Internet, more
precisely
, the web-sites including various and numerous e-books on them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that such e-books and educational web-sites on the Internet are, in turn, more beneficial.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can download desperate e-version of books at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and store a huge number of them on their mobile phones. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
, these can be true at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point as there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prestigious and enormous libraries including wide-range of books.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to find what they search for. Not all the countries allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to the establishment of libraries.
For example
, according to a Russian survey, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people(68%)
said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Instead
, they would
rather
Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality connection.

To conclude
, both of the arguments made me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to learning, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enjoying reading. For one thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of learning useful things like languages. For another thing, e-books and a number of educational web-sites are more efficient in as much as being time-saving and easy.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays some people think that public libraries are not necessary, while others disagree. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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