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Which do you prefer with the same rate of pay; an interesting and challenging job with less vacation or a job with more vacation time but less fun? v.2

Which do you prefer with the same rate of pay; an interesting and challenging job with less vacation or a job with more vacation time but less fun? v. 2
Professional activities like jobs play a prominent role in our lives. We often spend a lot of time with related tasks of our jobs and they have a profound effect on the quality of our lives. Some people believe that a challenging job is a better choice, however, it may have less vacation. Having an opposite viewpoint, personally, I would prefer to have a job with more vacation and it is not important that it has challenging issues. In what follows, I will scrutinize the most outstanding reasons. First and foremost, the more vacation, the more time will be obtainable to spend with my family and friends. People often choose a job to provide enough money to have pleasure times with their families. Since the final target is having memorable times with those people who are important for us, it is not rational to spend a lot of time with related tasks of working. For instance, I had been working for an industrial company for three years before I changed my job. At that time, I was dealing with different challenges with design projects and I did not have enough time to be alongside with my wife. She always said that these conditions are boring. I decided to change my position as a quality control manager in another company. However, at the new position, I had fewer challenges but I was free for two days in a week. Consequently, I could spend more time with my wife and we allocated these times for going to central parks of our hometown. Gradually, it had remarkable effects on our emotions and we experienced fantastic days with each other. Had not I changed my job position, I would not have had such a valuable opportunity to be with my family. A furthermore significant point is that people can allocate their vacation to personal desirable activities. There is no doubt that having free time paves the way for people to follow their interests. Those people who have challenging jobs are so busy during the day. Having hectic days prevents people to do what they are really like. Let' s consider my little brother' s experience. When he was a child, he was known as a painter in my family. Now, he is a dentist and most of the time he has to attend at his office with a variety of challenges with the patients. He has always been eager to continue his education as a professional painter. But his job does not allow him to pursue his interests. As a result, he experiences frustrating days and I recommended him to change his job as an assistant professor at the medical school. I am sure that this strategy will make him happy. In brief, by taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, it seems that having a professional activity with more free time can be considered as a rational choice. However, it might have less challenging matters. Not only can they have enough time to be with their families, but also they can follow their interests. hence, it is highly recommended for everyone who wishes to have pleasure time to choose a less challenging job.
Professional activities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
play a prominent role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with related tasks of our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
they have a profound effect on the quality of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a better choice,
however
, it may have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
an opposite viewpoint,
personally
, I would prefer to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
and it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
issues. In what follows, I will scrutinize the most outstanding reasons.

First
and foremost, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will be obtainable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to have pleasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Since the final target is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us, it is not rational to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with related tasks of working.
For instance
, I had been working for an industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I was dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
challenges with design projects and I did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be alongside with my wife. She always said that these conditions are boring. I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my position as a quality control manager in another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
However
, at the new position, I had fewer challenges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was free for two days in a week.
Consequently
, I could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wife and
we allocated these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for going to central parks of our hometown.
Gradually
, it had remarkable effects on our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emotions and
we experienced fantastic days with each other. Had not I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position, I would not have had such a valuable opportunity to be with my family.

A
furthermore
significant point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
to personal desirable activities. There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
paves the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow their interests. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy during the day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
hectic days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do what they are
really
like.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Let&
#039; s consider my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Possible spelling mistake found.
brother&
#039; s experience. When he was a child, he
was known
as a painter in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, he is a dentist and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
attend at his office with a variety of challenges with the patients. He has always been eager to continue his education as a professional painter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
him to pursue his interests.
As a result
, he experiences frustrating days and I recommended him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as an assistant professor at the medical school. I am sure that this strategy will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him happy.

In brief
, by taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a professional activity with more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
be considered
as a rational choice.
However
, it might have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
matters. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can follow their interests.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, it is
highly
recommended for everyone who wishes to have pleasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to choose a less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which do you prefer with the same rate of pay; an interesting and challenging job with less vacation or a job with more vacation time but less fun? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
530 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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