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Do you agree or disagree with the following: Some people believe that video games could inspire young students interest and make their study more efficient rather than distract them and be a waste of time, so young students should be allowed to play video v.2

with the following: Some people believe that video games could inspire young students interest and make their study more efficient rather than distract them and be a waste of time, so young students should be allowed to play video v. 2
One of the main concerns among the experts of educational systems is about the efficient process of learning and studying for students. While some experts believe that some activities like playing games will have deleterious effects on the study habits of the students, others, including me, have the opposite point of view. Regarding this point, I firmly believe that, playing video games helps students to study efficiently. Not only, can they learn planning, but also their creativity will enrich. In what follows, the most outstanding reasons will be scrutinized to clarify the discussion. First and foremost, students will be able to learn how they should plan different activities in different circumstances. It is inevitable for a student to have a determined plan during his or her studies. During playing the video games, students have to contemplate different aspects of the game and put them in order to reach the final targets. Consequently, the student' s brain gradually learns systematic thinking process. There is no doubt that they can exploit these valuable experiences in other areas like study activities. Based on my own personal experience, when I was a high school student I used to play Clash of Clones as a well-known video game. During this game, the player should create different strategies in order to conquer the cities. I gain much invaluable information that was useful to me during the mathematic course. By taking into account all of them in my mind; I focused on related study materials. Eventually, I got a fantastic grade on the final exam. In fact, the more time for playing games, the more invaluable planning tactics will emerge for the player. The other significant point is that, the ability of being creative will be strengthened by playing video games. Consequently, whenever students confront with similar conditions, they will put this ability to solve the problems efficiently. A recent study conducted by the University of Tehran has revealed that there is a direct link between the ability of presentation of novel solutions and being successful in study programs. Based on these experiments, those students who have played video games could achieve remarkable results earlier the others who were assigned to just study without any extra activities. In brief, by taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, it seems that playing video games can be considered as a rational method to increase the performance of the students. This assertion is based on two main reasons. First, students will plan efficiently during their studies. Moreover, their brains will be trained to be more creative. That' s why it is highly recommended for educational systems to give the opportunity of playing games to students.
One of the main concerns among the experts of educational systems is about the efficient process of learning and studying for
students
. While
some
experts believe that
some
activities like
playing
games
will have deleterious effects on the
study
habits of the
students
, others, including me, have the opposite point of view. Regarding this point, I
firmly
believe that,
playing
video
games
helps
students
to
study
efficiently
. Not
only
, can they learn planning,
but
also
their creativity will enrich. In what follows, the most outstanding reasons will
be scrutinized
to clarify the discussion.

First
and foremost,
students
will be able to learn how they should plan
different
activities in
different
circumstances. It is inevitable for a
student
to have a determined plan during
his or her
studies
. During
playing
the
video
games
,
students
have to
contemplate
different
aspects of the game and put them in order to reach the final targets.
Consequently
, the
student&
#039; s brain
gradually
learns systematic thinking process. There is no doubt that they can exploit these valuable experiences in
other
areas like
study
activities. Based on my
own
personal experience, when I was a high school
student
I
used
to play Clash of Clones as a well-known
video
game. During this game, the player should create
different
strategies in order to conquer the cities. I gain much invaluable information that was useful to me during the mathematic course. By taking into account all of them in my mind; I focused on related
study
materials.
Eventually
, I
got
a fantastic grade on the final exam. In fact, the more time for
playing
games
, the more invaluable planning tactics will emerge for the player.

The
other
significant point is that, the ability of being creative will
be strengthened
by
playing
video
games
.
Consequently
, whenever
students
confront with similar conditions, they will put this ability to solve the problems
efficiently
. A recent
study
conducted by the University of Tehran has revealed that there is a direct link between the ability of presentation of novel solutions and being successful in
study
programs. Based on these experiments, those
students
who have played
video
games
could achieve remarkable results earlier the others who
were assigned
to
just
study
without any extra activities.

In brief
, by taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, it seems that
playing
video
games
can
be considered
as a rational method to increase the performance of the
students
. This assertion
is based
on two main reasons.
First
,
students
will plan
efficiently
during their
studies
.
Moreover
, their brains will
be trained
to be more creative.
That&
#039; s why it is
highly
recommended for educational systems to give the opportunity of
playing
games
to
students
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay with the following: Some people believe that video games could inspire young students interest and make their study more efficient rather than distract them and be a waste of time, so young students should be allowed to play video v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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