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Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. Do you agree with this statement. v.3

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 3
It is thought that those who remain their good habits of reading books might be able to boost their creativity and linguistic competencies than people with interest in watching television. I agree with this viewpoint and the following paragraphs discuss the upsides and downsides of movies in comparison with books. On the one hand, it is undoubted that there have been many positive effects of television on individuals' brain and language development. Firstly, programs on TV consist of moving images to tell stories or convey messages, and the audience tends to absorb the information passively without efforts of data processing. As a result, it does not seem to motivate intellectual activities in their brains and struggle to create robust opportunities for their imagination to thrive. Secondly, plenty of studies have proved that when spending much time on a television screen, people, especially children, have been likely to face difficulties in expressing their ideas during verbal communications. For example, according to research carried out by Hanoi University of Education, 60% of toddlers, who spent over two hours per day watching cartoons on television, are inferior with their counterparts in terms of learning their mother tongue language. On the other hand, books have played an indispensable role in improving a strong ability to imagine and acquire linguistic inputs. To begin with, people need to read between the lines to understand thoroughly the meanings of stories and create a make-believe world in their minds. For instance, my three-year-old son is passionate about reading fairy tale stories before bedtime because he is so excited by thinking about an enchanting world with charming princesses, gallant princes, and wicked witches, that he can not find in the reality. Furthermore, reading books has laid a foundation for comprehension activities, which enhances other language skills. Numerous students who are studying English as their second foreign language need to make a great effort in boosting their reading as they apply vocabularies and grammar structures from passages to listening, speaking, and writing essays. In conclusion, from my point of view, the benefits of reading books exceed aspects of watching television as books are considered as a path to success in creativity and language improvement.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that those who remain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
might be able to boost their creativity and linguistic competencies than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with interest in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint and the following paragraphs discuss the upsides and downsides of movies
in comparison
with books.

On the one hand, it
is undoubted
that there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on individuals' brain and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
development.
Firstly
, programs on TV consist of moving images to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
stories or convey messages, and the audience tends to absorb the information
passively
without efforts of data processing.
As a result
, it does not seem to motivate intellectual activities in their brains and struggle to create robust opportunities for their imagination to thrive.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of studies have proved that when spending much time on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
screen,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
children, have been likely to face difficulties in expressing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
during verbal communications.
For example
, according to research carried out by Hanoi University of Education, 60% of toddlers, who spent over two hours per day watching cartoons on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, are inferior with their counterparts in terms of learning their mother tongue language.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have played an indispensable role in improving a strong ability to imagine and acquire linguistic inputs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to read between the lines to understand
thoroughly
the meanings of stories and create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-believe world in their minds.
For instance
, my three-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
son is passionate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
fairy tale stories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
bedtime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited by thinking about an enchanting world with charming princesses, gallant princes, and wicked witches, that he can not find in the reality.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
has laid a foundation for comprehension activities, which enhances other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Numerous students who are studying English as their second foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great effort in boosting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as they apply vocabularies and grammar structures from passages to listening, speaking, and writing essays.

In conclusion
, from my point of view, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
exceed aspects of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are considered
as a path to success in creativity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
improvement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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