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Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home. Why do you think it happens? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such choice? v.4

Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home. Why do you think it happens? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such choice? v. 4
In today’s modern world prepared meal is chosen by the majority of people and they would rather not to cook at home. In my opinion, it occurs because of our busy way of life. Ordering a ready-made meal may reduce the period to prepare the meal for ourselves. However, this type of meal may not be nutritious and it can be fast food, which is harmful for our health. First and foremost, people desire to save some by not having to cook. Increasingly, our life has become more and more engaged due to the fact that overwork. Thus, we don’t want to spend our moment in order to make some meal. Without doubt, it will be quite beneficial for our work and therefore we will have some term from ordering a ready-made meal. For example, people use this saved point to carry out new projects or they can do things which they cannot do at work. As to why, prepared meals can be advantageous for the work of people. On the other hand, most of prepared meals are convenience feed, that has not many of the vitamins essential to health. For instance, people order prepared food such as: hamburger, hot dog, as well as pizza and Mexican tacos and so on. As I know, these meals considered to be fast food and also they are known to be high in cholesterol, which can be a contributory factor in heart disease. That is why, we have to try to prepare meals ourselves and it must be nourishing food. Last but not least, ordering repast from restaurants may be extremely useful for a busy person who has no for cooking, but, as I have above mentioned that we pay attention that it has cons, which is harmless for our health.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
is chosen
by the majority of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they would
rather
not to cook at home. In my opinion, it occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our busy way of life. Ordering a ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the period to prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
for ourselves.
However
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
may not be nutritious and it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, which is harmful for our health.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
by not having to cook.
Increasingly
, our life has become more and more engaged due to the fact that overwork.
Thus
, we don’t want to spend our moment in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
. Without doubt, it will be quite beneficial for our work and
therefore
we will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
term from ordering a ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this saved point to carry out new
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
projects or
they can do things which they cannot do at work. As to why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
can be advantageous for the work of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are convenience feed, that has not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the vitamins essential to health.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prepared
food such as: hamburger, hot dog,
as well
as pizza and Mexican tacos and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As I know, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
considered to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and
also
they
are known
to be high in cholesterol, which can be a contributory factor in heart disease.
That is
why, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
ourselves and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be nourishing food.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, ordering repast from restaurants may be
extremely
useful for a busy person who has no for cooking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, as I have above mentioned that we pay attention that it has cons, which is harmless for our health.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home. Why do you think it happens? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such choice? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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