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Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. Discuss both views and give your own opinions. v.2

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 2
It is true that the question of whether people who read books or those watching TV can develop more imagination and language skills remains a resource of controversy in these days. While a number of people believe that reading books is the most effective way to enhance their imagination and language capabilities, I would argue that increasing those skills by watching TV is much more reasonable. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why people consider reading books as a method to raise their frame of mind and expression skills. Firstly, every book has its own phraseology style with diversified words which helps readers to expand their vocabulary and grammars. As a consequence, language learners can improve their reading and writing skills effectively. Secondly, as books, mainly include the description of authors going along without images or photos, readers aspires to imagine about the book's content and at the same time, build up their own imaginary world of reading. My grandfather also learned Chinese by reading books as his main method to study a new language and due to hard learning, he did it well. On the other hand, I believe that reading limits some skills such as speaking and listening which watching TV can easily help us. For instance, people often just keep their eyes on pages, but not speak out loud while reading books. By contrary, watching TV requires viewers to concentrate on listening and seeing what are going on, that definitely improves their listening skill. Besides, through a Television screen, people can observe speakers’ movement of mouth and emotion, lively scenes and interesting programs which could create an interactive environment for both studying and entertaining regarding to viewer’s purposes. In conclusion, although reading books are advantageous for some people to expand their imagination and language skills, it seems to me that it is better and more interesting way to watch TV to adopt those capabilities.
It is true that
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or those watching TV can develop more imagination and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
remains a resource of controversy in these days. While a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is the most effective way to enhance their imagination and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
capabilities, I would argue that increasing those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by watching TV is much more reasonable.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a method to raise their frame of mind and expression
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
phraseology style with diversified words which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
readers to expand their vocabulary and grammars. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
effectively
.
Secondly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
mainly
include the description of authors going along without images or photos, readers aspires to imagine about the book's content and at the same time, build up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
imaginary world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. My grandfather
also
learned Chinese by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as his main method to study a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
learning, he did it well.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as speaking and listening which watching TV can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their eyes on pages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not speak out loud while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. By contrary, watching TV requires viewers to concentrate on listening and seeing what are going on, that definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
Besides
, through a Television screen,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can observe speakers’ movement of mouth and emotion, lively scenes and interesting programs which could create an interactive environment for both studying and entertaining
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
viewer’s purposes.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are advantageous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to expand their imagination and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, it seems to me that it is better and more interesting way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV to adopt those capabilities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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