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Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.5

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 5
In present scenario, it becomes the trend to send old aged parents to old aged homes in comparison to past point. This essay will shed light on both merits and demerits of the above stated. To begin with pros, firstly, the aged, people get a company of their age-mates in care homes. As, in the revolutionary era, everyone in the home prefers to do a job and has a hectic schedule. So, they do not have past for the care of their old parents. Even, the grandchildren go to their schools and can not spend much point for their grandparents. As a result, older people get bored alone in homes. Fortunately, this void left by their children can be filled by the members present in the care homes. In this way, they can share their all gossips with their friends and can feel relaxed. Moreover, living in nursing homes can give much medical facility to aged people immediately. This is because older people have week stamina and can easily be affected by some viral diseases and these viral infections can be cured in such houses in a short generation. Probing towards the cons, old parents in old aged homes feel frustrated and mentally disturbed because of having not strong bonds with family and also conversations with family family act as a stress buster. As, everyone knows that no one can play a vital role in the life as a family members can play. Also, grandparents, always seek the company of their grand toddlers. For instance, the grandchild in the past usually hears the stories which were told by their grandparents. In conclusion, staying in old aged homes is acting as both fruitful and stressful. So, it only depends on the person's perception.
In present scenario, it becomes the trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in comparison
to past point. This essay will shed light on both merits and demerits of the above stated.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with pros,
firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their age-mates in care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. As, in the revolutionary era, everyone in the home prefers to do a job and has a hectic schedule.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they do not have past for the care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
parents. Even, the grandchildren go to their schools and can not spend much point for their grandparents.
As a result
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored alone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Fortunately
, this void
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
by their children can
be filled
by the members present in the care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. In this way, they can share their all gossips with their friends and can feel relaxed.
Moreover
, living in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can give much medical facility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immediately. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have week stamina and can
easily
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viral diseases and these viral infections can
be cured
in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in a short generation.

Probing towards the cons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
parents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
feel frustrated and mentally disturbed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having not strong bonds with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
also
conversations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster. As, everyone knows that no one can play a vital role in the life as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can play.
Also
, grandparents, always seek the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their grand toddlers.
For instance
, the grandchild in the past
usually
hears the stories which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by their grandparents.

In conclusion
, staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is acting as both fruitful and stressful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depends on the person's perception.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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