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Some people believe that people who have been in prison become good citizens later. It is often argued that these people are the best to guide teenagers about committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that people who have been in prison become good citizens later. It is often argued that these people are the best to guide teenagers about committing a crime. v. 2
Prisoners are the people who have experienced the tough consequences certain actions can lead to. Some people argue that these people know the best and could help teenagers from not taking any dramatic step in their lives. In my opinion, if a person has truly evolved after spending life in prison, surely they can have a great impact on other people lives. Teenage years are the ones in which a person is susceptible to lot of things and with an increased crime rate committed by teenagers, there are several reasons for criminals to help individuals. Firstly, a person who has been in the prison can explain in a better and deeper way the consequences one could have to face for wrong actions. They have examples and more importantly, they understand the other individual better as at some point, they can inter relate. Secondly, it is easier for them to judge the other person. So a prisoner can very easily predict the kind of trouble a teenager is having and under what circumstances can he or she take any drastic step. However, it is not necessary that a person who has been in jail understands the consequences. It is very likely to be possible that the person has no regrets going to jail. If someone like him or her, counsels a teenagers the outcome could be more devastating than expected. Even more, it is not obvious that a person who has been in jail can influence people to be better. In conclusion, a person who has faced the consequences of his or her actions can surely bring out change in the lives of others but it is not a compulsion. The most important thing is how well the people receive him or her and how well the person has evolved after the tenure in jail.
Prisoners are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have experienced the tough consequences certain actions can lead to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know the best and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from not taking any dramatic step in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
truly
evolved after spending life in prison,
surely
they can have a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.

Teenage years are the ones in which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is susceptible to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
things and with an increased crime rate committed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, there are several reasons for criminals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has been in the prison can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in a better and deeper way the consequences one could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
actions. They have examples and more
importantly
, they understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individual better as at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point, they can inter relate.
Secondly
, it is easier for them to judge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
a prisoner can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
predict the kind of trouble a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
is having and under what circumstances can he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "takes", "took".
take
any drastic step.

However
, it is not necessary that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has been in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
understands the consequences. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely to be possible that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has no regrets going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
. If someone like him or her, counsels a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
the outcome could be more devastating than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. Even more, it is not obvious that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has been in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
can influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be better.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has faced the consequences of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
actions can
surely
bring out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not a compulsion. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is how well the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receive him or her and how well the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has evolved after the tenure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that people who have been in prison become good citizens later. It is often argued that these people are the best to guide teenagers about committing a crime. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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