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In many countries school-age children are spending their free time in doing homework. Is it a good or bad thing? What is your own opinion? Give examples to support your view. v.2

In many countries school-age children are spending their free time in doing homework. Is it a good or bad thing? What is your own opinion? Give examples to support your view. v. 2
Education is an integral part of a child' s development phase as it builds a strong foundation of a bright future. However, question arises on the time a child spends in doing his homework. We are living in an extremely competitive world where each individual is preparing himself to participate in cut-throat competition and primarily, to win every aspect of it. To achieve this, it is widely believed that a child should spend most of his time with text books. I shall explain both positive and negative impacts of this behaviour before concluding whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. To start with, some people are of opinion that a child should spend most of his free time in doing homework. In this way, weak children get a chance to grasp things that they might have missed earlier and can compete with their quick-learner counterparts. For instance, one of my friend was not good with the mathematics when we were in school together. So his parents decided to enrol him in out-of-school coaching classes where trained faculty taught him specifically and dedicatedly. As a result of this, he was able to understand complex problems and managed to fill the gap in understanding. On the other hand, there are a few parents those who believe that extra-curricular activities are equally important for a child. Hence, a child should spend his free time in developing these qualities by involving himself in physical activities like sports. Children who are indulged in sports and games are able to develop their complete personality. A recent study has been done in this aspect where it was found that children who spend their free time in extra-curricular activities have better IQ score as compared to those who always found busy spending it with their text-books and syllabus. To my opinion, it should be the choice of a child to decide on how they want to spend their leisure time and parents should support it unconditionally. Having said that, I also believe that it is certainly not a good thing if a child is spending plenty of his free time with his course books only.
Education is an integral part of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s development phase as it builds a strong foundation of a bright future.
However
, question arises on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
in doing his homework. We are living in an
extremely
competitive world where each individual is preparing himself to participate in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition and
primarily
, to win every aspect of it. To achieve this, it is
widely
believed that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with text books. I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
concluding whether it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in doing homework. In this way, weak children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to grasp things that they might have missed earlier and can compete with their quick-learner counterparts.
For instance
, one of my friend was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with the mathematics when we were in school together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
his parents decided to enrol him in out-of-school coaching classes where trained faculty taught him
specifically
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicatedly
.
As a result
of this, he was able to understand complex problems and managed to fill the gap in understanding.

On the other hand
, there are a few parents those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that extra-curricular activities are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in developing these qualities by involving himself in physical activities like sports. Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are indulged
in sports and games are able to develop their complete personality. A recent study has
been done
in this aspect where it
was found
that children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in extra-curricular activities have better IQ score as compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
always found busy spending it with their text-books and syllabus.

To my opinion, it should be the choice of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to decide on how they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and parents should support it
unconditionally
. Having said that, I
also
believe that it is
certainly
not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with his course books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries school-age children are spending their free time in doing homework. Is it a good or bad thing? What is your own opinion? Give examples to support your view. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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