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Some people believe that people who have been in prison become good citizens later. It is often argued that these people are the best to guide teenagers about committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that people who have been in prison become good citizens later. It is often argued that these people are the best to guide teenagers about committing a crime. v. 1
People hardly get time for other activities because of busy life. Junk food has become increasingly popular among individuals than ever before. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and show that the drawbacks of fast food are superior to the benefits. The main advantage of fast food is that it saves the precious time of people. It is very difficult for employees to cook for themselves who are working 8 to 9 hours per day because they find it very convenient to order food. For example, prior to these options it is impossible for working women spend quality time with their family member because after work they usually get busy in the kitchen. In addition to this, there are many options of such food available in the market, which is far cheaper than homemade food. For instance, Food panda is the smart phone application through which people can order food at any time at much discounted prices. Therefore, fast food saves lots of money and time of people. Despite the benefits, there are many disadvantages of these available foods in the market. The first is that junk food causes obesity issues which leads to heart diseases. Although ready to eat food are very cheap, whereas, the ingredients use in burger and pizza results in weight gain. According to research conducted by WHO (World Health Organization) it was observed that 45% of cardiac patients were addicted to such food. Second, fast food encourages sedentary lifestyle. Local communities have many cheaper options available for ordering food from outside, however, due to this local communities become so lazy and avoid most of the physical activities such as going for grocery and prepare food at home. Thus, these two drawbacks clearly shows that ordering food from outside increase weight and laziness. To conclude, this essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of fast food. In my opinion, although there are advantages associated with junk food options, the disadvantages clearly outweigh them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of busy life. Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become
increasingly
popular among individuals than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay will discuss both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of this trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are superior to the benefits.

The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is that it saves the precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for employees to cook for themselves who are working 8 to 9 hours per day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient to order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, prior to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
it is impossible for working women spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family member
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after work they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
busy in the kitchen.
In addition
to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
available in the market, which is far cheaper than homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
panda is the smart phone application through which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at much discounted prices.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
saves lots of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Despite the benefits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of these available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the market. The
first
is that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
causes obesity issues which leads to heart diseases. Although ready to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, whereas, the ingredients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in burger and pizza results in weight gain. According to research conducted by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
(World Health Organization) it
was observed
that 45% of cardiac patients
were addicted
to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
encourages sedentary lifestyle. Local communities have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
available for ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from outside,
however
, due to this local communities become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy and avoid most of the physical activities such as going for grocery and prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home.
Thus
, these two drawbacks
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from outside increase weight and laziness.

To conclude
, this essay discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In my opinion, although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
associated with junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
, the disadvantages
clearly
outweigh them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that people who have been in prison become good citizens later. It is often argued that these people are the best to guide teenagers about committing a crime. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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