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Do you agree or disagree with following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children's education than were parents in the past. v.9

Parents today are more involved in their children's education than were parents in the past. v. 9
Nowadays by surge of people' s awareness about the significant of education in their both daily lives and careers, they have attempted to gain high level of education. Accordingly to this phenomenon, tendency to learning is ubiquitous among of children. Parents always walk beside their children and support them in any steps of their life. In addition, the parent have played undeniable and fundamental role in their children' s education. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is whether parents should contribute in their children' education. From my own vatage point, I am firmly agreed that parents' role in their children' s education is more considerable than before and I will explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs. To commence, the first subtle point that requires to be mentioned is that the context of education is modified, and it is harder than before. As a result, if children do not have their parents' help, they could not be succeed or obtain top grades in their courses. In order to shed more light on the proposed fact in current schools, there are some committees that parents are essential its members. These committees arrange various plan in order to enhance the level of students' education such financial supporting, organizing myriad beneficial and informative workshops like the ways of reduce stress, etc. Hence, parents have practical function in their children' school. Another outstanding reason coming considering this issue is that parents concern about their future children ' life. Moreover, both have they been preparing rudimental life requirements such as foods, health cares, clothing, etc. and do they attend to their education. Parents know that in competitive environment finding profitable job is so difficult and their children must have updated and latest knowledge. A vivid example is about various ranges of IT works which are universal, and the major of companies are willing to employ someone with high and related skills and knowledge. Therefore, if someone is qualified based on these conditions, he would catch the job and win in the competition. The last but not the least reason why I agree is being the professional level of education in our families. To elucidate, the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistic, revealed by a recently conducted social research, demonstrate that more than 70 percent of parents in American families have at least Master of science degree(M. Sc. ), so their training are a kind of stimulus for their children. Their children are encouraged to study hard and receive the advanced level of education. Also, parents have sufficient knowledge and experience to help their children' s education. To wrap it up, based on aforementioned argument training is the most important and inevitable facet of children' s future lives, and the great number of parents endeavor to cooperate with their children to have progresses in their life. I am firmly recommended that parents restrict their work and ordinary activities, and spend their time for children' s education.
Nowadays by surge of
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s awareness about
The phrase 'the significant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the significant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in their both daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and careers, they have attempted to gain high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Accordingly
to this phenomenon, tendency to learning is ubiquitous among of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
always walk beside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and support them in any steps of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
have played undeniable and fundamental role in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should contribute in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
vatage
point, I am
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; role in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more considerable than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and I will explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs.

To commence, the
first
subtle point that requires to
be mentioned
is that the context of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is modified
, and it is harder than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
As a result
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, they could not be
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
or obtain top grades in their courses. In order to shed more light on the proposed fact in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
schools, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
committees that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are essential its members. These committees arrange various plan in order to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
such financial supporting, organizing myriad beneficial and informative workshops like the ways of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, etc.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have practical function in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; school.

Another outstanding reason coming considering this issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
concern about their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, both have they been preparing
Possible spelling mistake found.
rudimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
requirements such as foods, health cares, clothing, etc. and do they attend to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
know that in competitive environment finding profitable job is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have updated and latest knowledge. A vivid example is about various ranges of IT works which are universal, and the major of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
willing to employ someone with high and related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
Therefore
, if someone
is qualified
based on these conditions, he would catch the job and win in the competition.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
is being the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in our families. To elucidate, the noteworthy
refreshingly
intelligible statistic, revealed by a recently conducted social research, demonstrate that more than 70 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in American families have at least Master of science degree(
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
M. Sc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their training are a kind of stimulus for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are encouraged
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and receive the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have sufficient knowledge and experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s education.

To wrap it up, based on aforementioned argument training is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and inevitable facet of
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and the great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
endeavor to cooperate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have progresses in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I am
firmly
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
restrict their work and ordinary activities, and spend their time for
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents today are more involved in their children's education than were parents in the past. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
493 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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