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Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. To what extents do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. v. 1
Even though the capacity of a single nation or a person is limited to help every corner in the world. I do not agree with the idea that we should focus on ourselves. I understand why some people insist on the view that it is unfeasible to help all. Furthermore, we cannot deny that human beings are not superheroes. Hence, all of us have our own limitations, no matter what situation we are in. As an example, the richest man on our planet also cannot afford everything he wants. It’s an unreal dream to help everyone and fill all demands. Besides, concentrating on certain areas is more likely to succeed, not only for a country but also for individuals. Consequently, we can dedicate resources to solving our own problems using all we have, avoiding depletion, which happens when we deliver our attention to care about others. However, we are humans, not inanimate objects which have no emotions and lives. If we look in retrospect at our history, it is clear people went through tough times in every phase of human development by unifying with each other and sharing what they had. For this reason and considering ethics, individuals should not be selfish, we need to think more about others and give a hand to those people who are in poor situations. In addition, people who are willing and eager to be helpful feel happier than those who do not, according to research. In conclusion, I admit it is impossible for us to help every person who has needs. But the limitation should not be an excuse for us not to give our favour to those people. I still strongly believe we need to do everything to help each other and make our society advance.
Even though
the capacity of a single nation or a person
is limited
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
every corner in the world. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that we should focus on ourselves.

I understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist on the view that it is unfeasible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
all.
Furthermore
, we cannot deny that human beings are not superheroes.
Hence
, all of us have our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
limitations, no matter what situation we are in. As an example, the richest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
on our planet
also
cannot afford everything he wants. It’s an unreal dream to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
everyone and fill all demands.
Besides
, concentrating on certain areas is more likely to succeed, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for individuals.
Consequently
, we can dedicate resources to solving our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems using all we have, avoiding depletion, which happens when we deliver our attention to care about others.

However
, we are humans, not inanimate objects which have no emotions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If we look in retrospect at our history, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went through tough times in every phase of human development by unifying with each other and sharing what they had.
For this reason
and considering ethics, individuals should not be selfish, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more about others and give a hand to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in poor situations.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are willing and eager to be helpful feel happier than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not, according to research.

In conclusion
, I admit it is impossible for us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the limitation should not be an excuse for us not to give our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
still
strongly
believe we need to do everything to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our society advance.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nations and individuals should focus on their own problems because it is impossible to help everyone in the world since there are so many needs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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