Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The Internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different the countries, and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v.1

The Internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different the countries, and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1
These days, modern people are willing to explore new places, learn about other cultures and travel around the world. In this regard, advanced technologies can provide the people with information about the nations or places through the internet, leading to gain some information about their culture, social life and art. However, some people believe that individuals should visit the countries in order to learn about their lifestyle. Personally, I believe that travellers should visit the new places, as they cannot receive enough dates though the net. On the other hand, it is true that visiting the countries may be beneficial for personal development. The tourists can enhance their interpersonal skills, during the conversation with local communities. Furthermore, travelling will give the life experience. To illustrate, tourists are supposed to overcome many obstacles to get the point of destination, such as inconvenience of transport, lack of money and inability to speak a foreign language. In addition, they will be able to tell about their trip to other people in the future. On the other hand, travelling can pollute the world. In this case, the most essential thing is a transportation, as planes, trains and cars are dangerous for the environment. In this reason, many individuals believe that gaining knowledge about the other culture, though the social networking sites are beneficial for the surrounding world. Moreover, this method can also save the wild animals, as due to travelling, many species of animals become extinct. For example, the African Leon extinction is caused by the tourism, as many foreign people are keen to hunt this animal. In conclusion, although many people tend to think that the online resources can replace the travelling, in my opinion, visiting new countries and places are beneficial for the citizens, as it can develop their soft skills. In addition, they will gain a life experience.
These days, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to explore new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and travel around the world. In this regard, advanced technologies can provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with information about the nations or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
through the internet, leading to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about their culture, social life and art.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that individuals should visit the countries in order to learn about their lifestyle.
Personally
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
should visit the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, as they cannot receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
dates though the net.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is true that visiting the countries may be beneficial for personal development. The tourists can enhance their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, during the conversation with local communities.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
will give the life experience. To illustrate, tourists
are supposed
to overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the point of destination, such as inconvenience of transport, lack of money and inability to speak a foreign language.
In addition
, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about their trip to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the future.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
can pollute the world.
In this case
, the most essential thing is a transportation, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, trains and cars are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the environment. In this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals believe that gaining knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
culture, though the social networking sites are beneficial for the surrounding world.
Moreover
, this method can
also
save the wild animals, as due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of animals become extinct.
For example
, the African Leon extinction
is caused
by the tourism, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to hunt this animal.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the online resources can replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, in my opinion, visiting new countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are beneficial for the citizens, as it can develop their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
, they will gain a life experience.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different the countries, and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts