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Some people think that nations and individuals should focus on their problems because it is unable to help everyone in the world since there are so many in needs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that nations and individuals should focus on their problems because it is unable to help everyone in the world since there are so many in needs. v. 1
It looks so selfish that society and each person give concentration on their own issues, because on this earth, all the countries and its citizens have already myriads of problems nations and people. I, holistically, disagree with this point of view due to some logical reasons. To begin with, the individual is dependent on other people, so does the nation. For this salient feature of a person, human beings are known as the best creature of the world. If a man will not help other men, nothing fruitful would outcome for the nation. For example, if one country does not give hand to another country, it will be impossible to survive in this complicated world. This is because, when a country like the USA, is producing corn and rice profusely whereas Canada has a huge production of grain crops like barely, oats which are the ultimate need of the USA. If Canada does not give these grains to the USA, the people of the USA would be in trouble and vice-versa. I, personally, do not think that there is any detrimental effect in helping someone. Similarly, the human being lives on the planet, Earth. The human makes the society and humanity succours each person to live in the community by heading up. If humanity had died, no one would have survived in this world. For instance, individuals encourage other people who are afraid to do exceptional which could invariably, help to build developed society, and this, eventually, leads to become a great nation. Moreover, showing humane quality neither irritating nor boasting, but helping the other creatures of God. Therefore, if we solve other problems, despite having many problems individually, then the whole problem will be solved in the long run. In conclusion, there are plenty of essential things that people need in this civilization. It does not mean that people will not deal with those problems, since they are themselves on a big issue. I would say that all the people and society come forward to tackle all the problems.
It looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
selfish that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and each person give concentration on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on this earth, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and its citizens have already myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I,
holistically
, disagree with this point of view due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
logical reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the individual is dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. For this salient feature of a person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings
are known
as the best creature of the world. If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, nothing fruitful would outcome for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not give hand to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it will be impossible to survive in this complicated world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like the USA, is producing corn and rice
profusely
whereas Canada has a huge production of grain crops like
barely
, oats which are the ultimate need of the USA. If Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not give these grains to the USA, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the USA would be in trouble and vice-versa. I,
personally
, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is any detrimental effect in helping someone.

Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on the planet, Earth. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and humanity
Possible spelling mistake found.
succours
each person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the community by heading up. If humanity had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
, no one would have survived in this world.
For instance
, individuals encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are afraid to do exceptional which could
invariably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, and this,
eventually
, leads to become a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Moreover
, showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humane
quality neither irritating nor boasting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
creatures of God.
Therefore
, if we solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
individually
, then the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
be solved
in the long run.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of essential things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need in this civilization. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not deal with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, since they are themselves on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue. I would say that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to tackle all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that nations and individuals should focus on their problems because it is unable to help everyone in the world since there are so many in needs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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