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Some people believe that modern high technology is transforming the way we work and is benefit to all of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that modern high technology is transforming the way we work and is benefit to all of society. v. 2
Few masses opine that adopting present day super technology in day to day life is changing style of work of the people and it is proven that this brings welfare in the society. I agree to a large extent because there are many advantages of this phenomena. In following essay i support my argument. To begin with, latest technology has completely changed the way of working of the people. Nowadays, machinery plays an important role in many fields. Earlier people used to make many things in their hands, now it is replaced by machinery which enables to create good quality with huge quantities at minimum time. Manufacturers and customers both get benefit because of low cost of production. To illustrate, cost of machine clothes are very cheaper than handmade clothes. Secondly, development in the IT field assists people to exchange their ideas and views between countries within a second. Instead of using past services, many are using electronic mails to get instant reply which enables to develop business transactions rapidly. For example, windows outlook is an example of online business transactions application that helps to save time and money both. Furthermore, it also aids to enhance economy of the nation. Technology is very useful in different sectors. Nowadays way of working of the people has been changed which resulted into better efficiency, production, good amount of result, time saving and many more. Modern technique helps to reduce cost of the product that attract number of customers through which the authority collect revenue. This money can be utilised for further development of the country. To conclude, technology has brought drastic change in people' s working style due to which they save their time and money. Masses are able to work more effectively and efficiently. It also helps in economic development of the country.
Few masses opine that adopting present day super
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in day to day life is changing style of work of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it
is proven
that this brings welfare in the society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a large extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena. In following essay
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
support my argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way of working of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nowadays, machinery plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. Earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in their hands,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
is replaced
by machinery which enables to create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality with huge quantities at minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Manufacturers and customers both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of low cost of production. To illustrate, cost of machine clothes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cheaper than handmade clothes.
Secondly
, development in the IT field assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exchange their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and views between countries within a second.
Instead
of using past services,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are using electronic mails to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
instant reply which enables to develop business transactions
rapidly
.
For example
, windows outlook is an example of online business
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "transactions'" or "transaction's"?
transactions
application that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money both.

Furthermore
, it
also
aids to enhance economy of the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors. Nowadays way of working of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
which resulted into better efficiency, production,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Modern technique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost of the product that attract number of customers through which the authority collect revenue. This money can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for
further
development of the country.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s working style due to which they save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money. Masses are able to work more
effectively
and
efficiently
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in economic development of the country.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that modern high technology is transforming the way we work and is benefit to all of society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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