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is the high-quality education and excellent teachers in the high school is the most important factor for students to succeed at university or college? v.2

is the high-quality education and excellent teachers in the high school is the most important factor for students to succeed at university or college? v. 2
Todays, being accomplished is the significant point that is dramatically necessary to be achievement in the society. The university is the best place that people who want to be successful are able to learn crucial methods for having better future. In this route, the previous education has a brilliant role. As a matter of fact, I assume that high quality of education in the high school can help students to be success in the university. First and foremost, having good knowledge with a powerful back ground is the reason that I believe that high quality of education in the schools can help youths to be successful in the university. Many students who go to the university, have a lot of problem with university courses specially basic courses like mathematics and physics. Although these basic courses would teach in the high school, the quality of teaching is fundamentally erratic in different schools. Thus, students who have excellent teaching in the schools, they would not have specific problems with basic courses in the university. For instance, I remember when I was in the high school, my mathematics teacher used to teach us professional methods of math in the extra time of class, so actually he prepared us for tough lessons in the university, because we had a great back ground form high school, and we did not shocked. Second, focusing on abilities in the university is the second exquisite point that to be mentioned. High school is the best place that individuals can figure out about their interests. By accessing to sources of information and laboratories, young people would be able to find their exact interest. Hence, when these students go to the university they will know what do they want to be in the future, so they will focus on their abilities to be accomplished instead of wasting a lot of time to find out what they want from their education and studying. For example, I decided to be a mechanical engineer when I was in the high school. The school held some engineering work shops in my school with high professional engineers. In one of these workshops, I found out that I have a lot in interest to be a mechanical engineer, because they showed me how an engine works and how pipe lines design. To wrap it up, high quality of education is the most vital key to have a good education in the university, because it would help students to have enough back ground knowledge before university besides that it would save their critical time in the university for improving their skills instead of finding their interest.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
,
being accomplished
is the significant point
that is
dramatically
necessary to be achievement in the society. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the best place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to be successful are able to learn crucial methods for having better future. In this route, the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a brilliant role. As a matter of fact, I assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be success in the university.

First
and foremost, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge with a powerful back ground is the reason that I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youths to be successful in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, have
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of problems".
a lot of problem
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
specially
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
like mathematics and physics. Although these basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
would teach in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of teaching is
fundamentally
erratic in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have excellent teaching in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, they would not have specific problems with basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For instance
, I remember when I was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, my mathematics teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach us professional methods of math in the extra time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
actually he prepared us for tough lessons in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we had a great back ground form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and we did not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "shock"?
shocked
.

Second, focusing on abilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the second exquisite point that to
be mentioned
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best place that individuals can figure out about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
. By accessing to sources of information and laboratories, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to find their exact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
.
Hence
, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they will know what do they want to be in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will focus on their abilities to
be accomplished
instead
of wasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to find out what they want from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and studying.
For example
, I decided to be a mechanical engineer when I was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
held
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
engineering work shops in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
professional engineers. In one of these workshops, I found out that I have a lot in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to be a mechanical engineer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
me how an engine works and how pipe lines design.

To wrap it up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the most vital key to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
back ground knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
besides
that it would save their critical time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
instead
of finding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay is the high-quality education and excellent teachers in the high school is the most important factor for students to succeed at university or college? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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