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For many people shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others People however in past mostly visited those when necessary To what extent do you think is a negative trend v.2

For many people shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others People however in past mostly visited those when necessary 2
It is a trend now a days to spend free time in shopping mall with family and friends however, earlier people used to go for shopping only when there was requirement. In my perception, effects of shopping in malls are not adverse but sometimes it can waste valuable time. I partially agree with the above statement. To begin with, shopping mall is an attractive place for people to visit. Firstly, there are numerous shops in single roof with lots of varieties which assist to save time for hunting for the products in different places. To illustrate, footwear, garment and kitchen appliances all can get in the big shopping centre. Secondly, It has good atmosphere to spend time with close ones. There are specially designed areas for adult and children like food zone and kids zone. It is very convenient and comfortable while shopping. Thirdly, in festival seasons or in special occasion shopkeepers offer special discount on products so people buy things at very reasonable rate. This help them to save money. To elaborate, in diwali festival many electronic shops offer 10 % discount on electronic goods. On the other hand, now at present time, people go to the mall to spend time because it has many activities to do for adult and children however, sometime its cause unnecessary squandering on certain things. For example, Squandering money on playing in the game zone. Many retailers attract people by offering discounts or sale on the products which influence folks to buy unwanted things. Majority of masses lure towards trendy fashionable cloths and buy it for unnecessarily. In addition, people waste excessive time to hang out in the mall. Many are do only window shopping and squander their valuable time in which they can do some other work. Moreover, it is becoming weekend activity in every family. Instead of going somewhere else people like to visit mall. To conclude, it is not completely adverse trend to visit in the mall in free time. It is good place to meet others. Along with shopping one can enjoys food in food zone and children can play in kids zone or game zone areas however, there should be controlled on unwanted shopping and investing valuable time. Folks can utilise their money and time for meaningful work.
It is a trend
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
to spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
with family and friends
however
, earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when there was requirement. In my perception, effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are not adverse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can waste valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is an attractive place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit.
Firstly
, there are numerous shops in single roof with lots of varieties which assist to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for hunting for the products in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places. To illustrate, footwear, garment and kitchen appliances all can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
Secondly
, It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
atmosphere to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with close ones. There are
specially
designed areas for adult and children like food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zone
and kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zone
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and comfortable while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Thirdly
, in festival seasons or in special occasion shopkeepers offer special discount on products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reasonable rate. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to save money. To elaborate, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
diwali
festival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic shops offer 10 % discount on electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
at present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities to do for adult and children
however
, sometime its cause unnecessary squandering on certain things.
For example
, Squandering money on playing in the game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zone
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
retailers attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by offering discounts or sale on the products which influence folks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unwanted things. Majority of masses lure towards trendy fashionable cloths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it for
unnecessarily
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to hang out in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and squander their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in which they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other work.
Moreover
, it is becoming weekend activity in every family.
Instead
of going somewhere else
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to visit mall.

To conclude
, it is not completely adverse trend to visit in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others. Along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
one can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "enjoy"
enjoys
food in food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zone
and children can play in kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zone
or game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zone
areas
however
, there should
be controlled
on unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and investing valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Folks can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for meaningful work.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay For many people shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others People however in past mostly visited those when necessary 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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