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Modern high technology is transforming how we work and is of benefit to all society. v.1

Modern high technology is transforming how we work and is of benefit to all society. v. 1
Nowadays, the continuous development in modern technology affects many aspects of our lives. For instance, we wash our clothes using a washing machine, we cook foods using a stove or a microwave oven, we travel using cars or aeroplanes, and we even build houses using machines and modern tools. From simple to complex tasks, we are dependent on technology. Hence, some will agree that technology makes our lives a lot easier and comfortable. However, despite the benefits that it brings, I believe that this development is less beneficial to human society especially on how it affects human productivity in terms of work. This argument is supported by stating the ill- effects of technology to society. First and foremost, the emergence of technology creates a negative effect on human skills enhancement. For example, the majority of the students prefers to use the internet in doing scientific research and solving mathematical equations instead of utilising their critical thinking skills. This impedes self-development and growth through lack of practice. Secondly, people tend to become more and more dependent on technology to the point that some would fail to complete tasks without the assistance of computer and machines. This can be illustrated by the incidence that occurred last year here in Manila. Many companies failed to meet their desired quota because machines do not work without electricity. Workers are not well trained and cannot meet production without the assistance of computers and machines. Moreover, due to technology, there are fewer job opportunities for vast workers. This happens because most of the business men invest on machines than hiring workers. They believe that machines are cheaper than paying skilled and trained workers it is resulting in a high rate of unemployed. Lastly, technology affects people's connection and passion in doing their job. For instance, in the past, clothes are woven manually by women, now they use the sewing machine instead. With the use of these machines, they lost their personal touch to the clothes that they have created. In summary, the drawbacks of modern technology further outweigh its benefits. Therefore, we should learn how to balance and be more critical in utilising it.
Nowadays, the continuous development in modern
technology
affects
many
aspects of our
lives
.
For instance
, we wash our clothes using a washing
machine
, we cook foods using a stove or a microwave oven, we travel using cars or
aeroplanes
, and we even build
houses
using
machines
and modern tools. From simple to complex tasks, we are dependent on
technology
.
Hence
,
some
will
agree
that
technology
makes
our
lives
a lot easier and comfortable.
However
, despite the benefits that it brings, I believe that this development is less beneficial to human society
especially
on how it affects human productivity in terms of work. This argument
is supported
by stating the ill- effects of
technology
to society.

First
and foremost, the emergence of
technology
creates a
negative
effect on human
skills
enhancement.
For example
, the majority of the students prefers to
use
the internet in doing scientific research and solving mathematical equations
instead
of
utilising
their critical thinking
skills
. This impedes self-development and growth through lack of practice.

Secondly
,
people
tend to become more and more dependent on
technology
to the point that
some
would fail to complete tasks without the assistance of computer and
machines
. This can
be illustrated
by the incidence that occurred last year here in Manila.
Many
companies
failed to
meet
their desired quota
because
machines
do not work without electricity.
Workers
are not
well trained
and cannot
meet
production without the assistance of computers and machines.

Moreover
, due to
technology
, there are fewer job opportunities for vast
workers
. This happens
because
most of the business
men
invest on
machines
than hiring
workers
. They believe that
machines
are cheaper than paying skilled and trained
workers
it is resulting in a high rate of unemployed.

Lastly
,
technology
affects
people
's connection and passion in doing their job.
For instance
, in the past, clothes
are woven
manually
by women,
now
they
use
the sewing
machine
instead
. With the
use
of these
machines
, they lost their personal touch to the clothes that they have created.

In summary, the drawbacks of modern
technology
further
outweigh its benefits.
Therefore
, we should learn how to balance and be more critical in
utilising
it.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern high technology is transforming how we work and is of benefit to all society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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