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Some people believe that men and women possess different skills. According to them certain jobs are more suitable for men than women. There are also some jobs where women perform better. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people believe that men and women possess different skills. According to them certain jobs are more suitable for men than women. There are also some jobs where women perform better. v. 1
Women now compete and cooperate with men in almost all walks of life and they have proved their mettle, too. However, men and women are not built alike. They may have the same intellectual capabilities, but physically and emotionally men and women are different and that probably explains why certain jobs are considered suitable for men and certain other jobs suitable for women. Until a few decades ago many people used to believe that women are not suitable for a career in science or finance. Such wrong notions no longer exist because many women have proved that they make equally brilliant engineers and number crunchers. Still, certain sectors prefer men over women. There are also some sectors where women outperform men. Thanks to their stronger physique, men are more suitable for physically demanding jobs than women. For example, jobs in mining and mechanics are laborious and involve handling heavy machinery. A few women have proved that they are capable of handling such jobs, but the majority of workers employed in these sectors are men. The armed forces also recruit more men than women. Though women lack physical prowess, they score better than men in some other areas. For example, women are more caring and patient. These qualities make them excellent teachers and nurses. Women also possess better people skills and are considered more suitable for careers in hospitality and public relations. Of course, several women have proved that they are capable of doing just about anything that men can. Take for instance, the case of Madam Curie, the first woman to win the Nobel Prize for Physics. She proved her mettle at a time when science and technology were largely dominated by men. Women have also conquered the seas, the mountains and the skies. The fact that they lacked muscle power didn’t deter them from pursuing their goals. Still, these are exceptions rather than the rules. In conclusion, certain jobs are more suitable for men. There are also certain jobs where women perform better than men. Personally I believe that a person’s physical and intellectual capabilities, rather than gender, should determine his or her career choice. If a woman possesses sufficient physical strength and is determined enough to pursue a career in a male dominated sector, her gender should not come in the way of her goal. The same theory applies to men as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
compete and cooperate with
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men
in almost all walks of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proved
their mettle, too.
However
,
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not built alike. They may have the same intellectual capabilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
physically
and
emotionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and that
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for women.

Until a few decades ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to believe that
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women
are not
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suitable
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in science or finance. Such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
notions no longer exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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women
have
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proved
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
equally
brilliant engineers and number
Possible spelling mistake found.
crunchers
.
Still
,
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certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
prefer
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men
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
outperform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Thanks to their stronger physique,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for
physically
demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in mining and mechanics are laborious and involve handling heavy machinery. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proved
that they are capable of handling such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the majority of workers employed in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are
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men
. The armed forces
also
recruit more
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men
than women.

Though
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women
lack physical prowess, they score better than
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men
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other areas.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more caring and patient. These qualities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them excellent teachers and nurses.
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Women
also
possess better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
are considered
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in hospitality and public relations.

Of course
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proved
that they are capable of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about anything that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can. Take
for instance
, the case of Madam Curie, the
first
woman to win the Nobel Prize for Physics. She
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proved
her mettle at a time when science and technology were
largely
dominated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
have
also
conquered the seas, the mountains and the skies. The fact that they lacked muscle power didn’t deter them from pursuing their goals.
Still
, these are exceptions
rather
than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
perform better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Personally
I believe that a person’s physical and intellectual capabilities,
rather
than gender, should determine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
choice. If a woman possesses sufficient physical strength and
is determined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pursue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in a male dominated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, her gender should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the way of her goal. The same theory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
as well
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women possess different skills. According to them certain jobs are more suitable for men than women. There are also some jobs where women perform better. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
395 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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