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Some people believe that men and women are equal so women should be able to do any job they want others feel that women and men are not equal therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women v.1

Some people believe that men and women are equal so women should be able to do any job they want others feel that women and men are not equal therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women v. 1
Gender discrimination is quite a popular topic to discuss in this decade. Although, both genders are equivalent to some people so that there is no professional distinction between them while others assume that there must be job segregation between men and women. This essay will discuss how women's social commitments and social responsibilities make them incompatible to certain professions. Women have many social responsibilities so that they cannot fulfil those regulations as compared to men. Such as, married women cannot travel freely because of their family problems due to which women are mostly, reluctant to do a job which requires extensive travelling. For example, according to the DAWN newspaper, 60% of female doctors quit the job after getting married. Therefore, women need to be compatible with the current environment Mostly. Due to women, physical nature women are reluctant to do a tough job because of physical fitness women cannot perform tasks like men. For instance, In Army women are not allowed to perform duties on frontlines. In addition according to HAARETZ newspaper, women selected for NAVY mission could not survive hard training so she had been admitted to hospital. There are places where women are not equal to men. According to some women cannot distinguish from men in any profession whereas others refrain from having a point of view about gender equality. Due to social responsibilities and physical tendencies women are reluctant to join some professions. Consequently, Women must improve their compatibilities to match men in every walk of life.
Gender discrimination is quite a popular topic to discuss in this decade. Although, both genders are equivalent to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is no professional distinction between them while others assume that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
segregation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. This essay will discuss how women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
commitments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them incompatible to certain professions.

Women have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they cannot fulfil those regulations as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Such as, married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cannot travel
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their family problems due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
mostly
, reluctant to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which requires extensive travelling.
For example
, according to the DAWN newspaper, 60% of female doctors quit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after getting married.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need to be compatible with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
environment

Mostly
. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, physical nature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are reluctant to do a tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of physical fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cannot perform tasks like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
For instance
, In Army
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to perform duties on
Possible spelling mistake found.
frontlines
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
according to
Possible spelling mistake found.
HAARETZ
newspaper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
selected for NAVY mission could not survive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she had
been admitted
to hospital. There are places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not equal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cannot distinguish from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in any profession whereas others refrain from having a point of view about gender equality. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
responsibilities and physical tendencies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are reluctant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
compatibilities
to match
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in every walk of life.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women are equal so women should be able to do any job they want others feel that women and men are not equal therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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