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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 5
Nowadays, an education plays the vital role in the society. Some claim that universities must consider male and female students equally in each class of the field. However, I believe that it should be taken into the consideration due to the shortage of qualified people and the discrimination in the society. Firstly, it is the right of each citizen for having an education which could eliminate the sex differences. In our society, there is always a difference between the education of girls, and this is because many believe that the girls’ main role is to look after only the house after the marriage, which results they are not given the chance for further education. Therefore, if the universities consider same number of male and female students in all fields, there will not be any sex discriminations in our society. Finally, providing a higher education equally will remove the lack of skilled members in the society. This is because in most countries only male population are educated in the field of engineers, doctors and astronauts, resulting the shortage in nursing, hotel management and lawyers. However, if women are given the chance equally for studying where the shortage is and other fields too, no longer any short of skilled people in the society. Take Kerala state in India as an example, where the girls are given higher education equally with the boys by the government, resulting highly skilled and qualified members than any other states. In conclusion, not only do universities give a chance of removing the shortage of well-qualified members in the society by accepting equal in numbers of both genders, but also help in eradicating the discrimination. Therefore, I completely believe that universities should consider both genders equally in all areas of studies.
Nowadays, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays the vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider male and female students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
in each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
However
, I believe that it should
be taken
into the consideration due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
of qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the discrimination in the society.

Firstly
, it is the right of each citizen for having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which could eliminate the sex differences. In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, there is always a difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of girls, and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the girls’ main role is to look after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
after the marriage, which results they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
consider same number of male and female students in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, there will not be any sex discriminations in our society.

Finally
, providing a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
will remove the lack of skilled members in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in most countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
male population
are educated
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of engineers, doctors and astronauts, resulting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
in nursing, hotel management and lawyers.
However
, if women are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
for studying where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
is and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
too, no longer any short of skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Take Kerala state in India as an example, where the girls are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
with the boys by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, resulting
highly
skilled and qualified members than any other states.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
give a chance of removing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
of well-qualified members in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by accepting equal in numbers of both genders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in eradicating the discrimination.
Therefore
, I completely believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should consider both genders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equally
in all areas of studies.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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