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Research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Business conferences and training are taking place more and more on online platforms, replacing the traditional face-to-face communication and information exchange. This has both benefits and drawbacks in equal measure The trend seen in companies switching their training activities and business discussions to the online mode has many advantages. First of all, this offers staff increased flexibility and full control of their timetable, which is likely to diminish the unnecessary high stress levels and thus boost their work productivity. For instance, working mothers find this incredibly helpful for them to multitask between rearing their children and joining meetings to keep abreast of developments in the company. Furthermore, this online mode of operation could help companies economize on expenditure by not having to pay for electricity bill, printed documents or equipment for carrying out the meeting or training procedures, for instance. On the other hand, this option has two major drawbacks. Firstly, communication via the internet can be a hindrance as there might be failures in the flow of information. To illustrate, in [country’s name] not many people can afford high-speed internet connection, and as a consequence, lagging connection or computer crashing can cause disruptions, reducing the comprehension among meeting or training participants. In addition, there is little room for practice and the lack of direct guidance also prevents people from fully grasping the skills. It would be less productive because employees receiving training cannot apply what they are taught on the internet, or can be clumsy in their actual performance since there is no one to show them whether they are doing it the right way as reality is sometimes completely different from theory. In conclusion, while there are some advantages for staying at home and participating in discussions or training sessions, there are also disadvantages showing that both sides of this development should be carefully viewed.
Business conferences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are taking place more and more on online platforms, replacing the traditional face-to-face communication and information exchange. This has both benefits and drawbacks in equal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
measure


The trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
switching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
activities and business discussions to the online mode has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this offers staff increased flexibility and full control of their timetable, which is likely to diminish the unnecessary high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels and
thus
boost their work productivity.
For instance
, working mothers find this
incredibly
helpful for them to multitask between rearing their children and joining meetings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of developments in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Furthermore
, this online mode of operation could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
economize on expenditure by not having to pay for electricity bill, printed documents or equipment for carrying out the meeting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
procedures,
for instance
.

On the other hand
, this option has two major drawbacks.
Firstly
, communication via the internet can be a hindrance as there might be failures in the flow of information. To illustrate, in [country’s name] not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can afford high-speed internet connection, and as a consequence, lagging connection or computer crashing can cause disruptions, reducing the comprehension among meeting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
participants.
In addition
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
room for practice and the lack of direct guidance
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
fully
grasping the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It would be less productive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employees receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
cannot apply what they
are taught
on the internet, or can be clumsy in their actual performance since there is no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them whether they are doing it the right way as reality is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from theory.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for staying at home and participating in discussions or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
sessions, there are
also
disadvantages showing that both sides of this development should be
carefully
viewed.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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