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Some people believe that manufacturersand supermarkets should minimise thepackaging material used. However, othersthink that consumers should avoidheavily packaged goods. Discuss bothviews and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that manufacturersand supermarkets should minimise thepackaging material used. However, othersthink that consumers should avoidheavily packaged goods. v. 1
Nowadays, in this competitive and complicated world, the importance of environment is undeniable for majority of people in all over the world. Hence, to decreasing environmental issues there are lots of prominent challenges and one of the most significant of them is circumstance of utilizing packaging tools. Some environmentalists believe that amount of packing in companies products have been increased sharply during recent decades. They insist that manufacturers should diminish packaged products by some noticeable plans seriously. Comprehensive investigations in china illustrated that usage of packaging tools has been increased more than 40% during recent 5 years in this country. Environmental experts believe that by continuing this attitude we will have many environmental problems in next 50 years undoubtedly. These experts emphasize that companies and organizations should devise some appropriate and applicable plans to alter their packaging systems by some new methods without environment`s menaces. They think that to fulfill this tendency, first of all governmental organizations should persuade industries to spend sufficient money and time in this way eagerly. On the other hand, some social experts argue that to decline packaging systems dangerous effects on the environment, people should contribute with healthy organizations properly. These experts think that as a consequence, consumers can avoid buying packaging tools in shops and supermarkets and this phenomenon have some beneficial effects on environment. According to recent published reports in U. S. two third of people prefer to buy products with less packaging tools. In conclusion, in contemporary century because of lots of social growths in societies people are more circumspect about their life environment. I believe that to decreasing or even eliminating perilous effects of using packaged products, governments, companies and people should pay attention to this event absolutely. I think by devise some preventive plans they can vanish detrimental influence of these products definitely.
Nowadays, in this competitive and complicated world, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is undeniable for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all over the world.
Hence
, to decreasing environmental issues there are lots of prominent challenges and one of the most significant of them is circumstance of utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
tools.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
environmentalists believe that amount of packing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have
been increased
sharply
during recent decades. They insist that manufacturers should diminish packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noticeable plans
seriously
. Comprehensive investigations in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
illustrated that usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
tools has
been increased
more than 40% during recent 5 years in this country. Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
believe that by continuing this attitude we will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental problems in
next
50 years
undoubtedly
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
emphasize that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and organizations should devise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appropriate and applicable plans to alter their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
systems by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new methods without
The character between 'environment' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "environment’s" (curly apostrophe) or "environment's" (straight apostrophe).
environment`s
menaces. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to fulfill this tendency,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
governmental organizations should persuade industries to spend sufficient money and time in this way
eagerly
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
argue that to decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
systems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should contribute with healthy organizations
properly
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that as a consequence, consumers can avoid buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
tools in shops and supermarkets and
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "this phenomenon has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this phenomenon have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. According to recent published reports in U. S. two third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
tools.

In conclusion
, in contemporary century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lots of social growths in societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more circumspect about their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. I believe that to decreasing or even eliminating perilous effects of using packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay attention to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
absolutely
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by devise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
preventive plans they can vanish detrimental influence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
definitely.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people believe that manufacturersand supermarkets should minimise thepackaging material used. However, othersthink that consumers should avoidheavily packaged goods. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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