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Do you think consumers should avoid over packaged products or it is the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of products? ” Give your views or any relevant example with your own experience. v.1

Do you think consumers should avoid over packaged products or it is the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of products? ” Give your views or any relevant example with your own experience. v. 1
Over packed food items can be avoided by the people. Reducing the over packaging of products is one of the prime responsibilities of the producer. Here in this discussion, I am trying to explain the reasons why the food producing company should take initiative to reduce extra packaging. Firstly, a consumer wants the final product as he considers it is not readily available from the environment, and this creates a temptation to get the packed food in any form irrespective of how it is being delivered. For example, the cliche do or die is applicable here; biscuits are available only in plastic packets. This clarifies the responsibility of producer to move away from plastic wrapping. In addition, avoiding harmful packing by the manufactures effort gives a clear indication of environmental friendly industry. This will boost the competition with their peers, and eventually more and more industries will start moving towards the goal of dumping harmful materials. For example, adopting an environmental friendly packaging will get more attention from the customers, and they will opt for it. In conclusion, consumers do not have any choice in selecting how the food to be packed. Manufacturers can make changes in the industry and among the people. The Government also must make necessary rules to reduce the carbon footprint due to over packaging.
Over packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items can
be avoided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Reducing the over packaging of products is one of the prime responsibilities of the producer. Here in this discussion, I am trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should take initiative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
extra packaging.

Firstly
, a consumer wants the final product as he considers it is not
readily
available from the environment, and this creates a temptation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in any form irrespective of how it is
being delivered
.
For example
, the
'cliche' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cliché"
cliche
do or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
is applicable here; biscuits are available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in plastic packets. This clarifies the responsibility of producer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from plastic wrapping.

In addition
, avoiding harmful packing by the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "manufactures'" or "manufacture's"?
manufactures
effort gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indication of environmental friendly industry. This will boost the competition with their peers, and
eventually
more and more industries will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
moving towards the goal of dumping harmful materials.
For example
, adopting an environmental friendly packaging will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more attention from the customers, and they will opt for it.

In conclusion
, consumers do not have any choice in selecting how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
be packed
. Manufacturers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the industry and among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the carbon footprint due to over packaging.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Do you think consumers should avoid over packaged products or it is the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging of products? ” Give your views or any relevant example with your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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