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Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to reduce crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to reduce crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. 1
In recent times, the crime rate has been on the increase, which has raised a debate as to whether prison sentences should be made lengthy to curb breaking of the law. While some people think that a reduction in crime will best be achieved by a longer jail sentence, others believe that there are other ways to decrease criminality. This essay will discuss why education and employment are superior to an elongated jail term in decreasing illegality. There are growing number of persons who have suggested that by lengthening prison sentences, crime rates will decline. They believe that when a criminal, who has committed a felony, is sentenced to jail to serve for a very long time, it acts as a deterrent against breaking the law especially for those intending to engage in any such activity. As an example, a research done in Brooklyn showed a reduction in crime percentage by 5 percent after a notorious criminal was charged to 30 years imprisonment. For these reasons, they buttress the fact that a long sentence results in a decline in society's vices. In contrast to the people that are for extended jail sentences are those that believe that there are other ways to bring about a decrement in crime. They are of the opinion that in a society where educating the citizens is prioritized and hence the high number of literates, there tends to be a low percentage of crime. This is because education helps to make one civilized, know what is unacceptable in the community and provides stability in one's life through vocational trainings. For instance, it is not surprising to note that in most developed nations with a high preponderance of literates, there is a corresponding low crime rate as compared to nations where illiteracy predominates. In addition, provision of jobs will reduce the incidence of antisocial behaviours in any community. As it was noted by a research in the UK in 2015, an increase in employment of 15 percent led to a reduction in crime by 10 percent. Overall, teaching against unlawful acts and increased job availability curtail law breaking In conclusion, should prisoners be sentenced to a longer time in jail? Although some persons advocates for this with the reason that it deters criminality and as such reduce it, others believe that an increase in literacy rate and availability of job opportunities will help to decrease social vices. This essay discussed both perspectives. In my opinion, despite the benefit of lengthy prison sentence, improving access to education and providing employment are better ways to decrease crime.
In recent times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has been on the increase, which has raised a debate
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
should
be made
lengthy to curb breaking of the law. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will best
be achieved
by a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to decrease criminality. This essay will discuss why education and employment are superior to an elongated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
term in decreasing illegality.

There are growing number of persons who have suggested that by lengthening prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
will decline. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that when a criminal, who has committed a felony,
is sentenced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
to serve for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time, it acts as a deterrent against breaking the law
especially
for those intending to engage in any such activity. As an example, a research done in Brooklyn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
percentage by 5 percent after a notorious criminal
was charged
to 30 years imprisonment. For these reasons, they buttress the fact that a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
results in a decline in society's vices.

In contrast
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are for extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
are those that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to bring about a decrement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. They are of the opinion that in a society where educating the citizens
is prioritized
and
hence
the high number of literates, there tends to be a low percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one civilized, know what is unacceptable in the community and provides stability in one's life through vocational trainings.
For instance
, it is not surprising to note that in most developed nations with a high preponderance of literates, there is a corresponding low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
as compared to nations where illiteracy predominates.
In addition
, provision of jobs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the incidence of antisocial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in any community. As it
was noted
by
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
in the UK in 2015, an increase in employment of 15 percent led to a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by 10 percent.
Overall
, teaching against unlawful acts and increased job availability curtail law breaking

In conclusion
, should prisoners
be sentenced
to a longer time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
? Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons advocates for this with the reason that it deters criminality and as such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that an increase in literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and availability of job opportunities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease social vices. This essay discussed both perspectives. In my opinion, despite the benefit of lengthy prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
, improving access to education and providing employment are better ways to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to reduce crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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