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Some people believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught, while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used in life. Discuss both sides. v.2

Some people believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught, while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used in life. v. 2
Parent’s opinions differ as to whether or not their children should be taught math at school. Some people contemplate that mathematics is not relevant, while other state that math classes are instrumental for child development. This essay will discuss both sides in detail. The main reason which is pointed out by people who are against math sessions at schools is that it has become unimportant and obsolete. They are contend that in today’s world this kind of works are done by cutting-edge-technologies, and we do not need to overload our children and made math classes burden on school curriculum. For instance, survey conducted in the USA last year illustrate that 90% of works related to math are done by computers, and this figures forecasted to grow in upcoming future. Therefor some parent relate to mathematics skeptically and assertive that such an outdated subject should be removed from subject list. However, others adhere to the point that math subject plays pivotal role in child’s mental capacities. Indeed, children who has performed good at math classes in later life more likely to come up with novel, creative concepts in various fields than those who fall behind at math. For example, it has been proven fact that when child trying to solve some math task he or she use the parts of the brain which is responsible for critical thinking and comprehending tasks from different perspectives. For such a reasons many parents allocate great deal of importance to mathematics at schools. In conclusion, it has become controversial issue among parents as should their children learn math at school or not. Although, some parents against, others are contend with math exposure on children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parent’s
opinions differ
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contemplate that mathematics is not relevant, while other state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
classes are instrumental for child development. This essay will discuss both sides in detail.

The main reason which
is pointed
out by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
sessions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is that it has become unimportant and obsolete. They are
Consider using a past participle here: "contended".
contend
that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world this kind of works
are done
by cutting-edge-technologies, and we do not need to overload our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
classes burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
For instance
, survey conducted in the USA last year illustrate that 90% of works related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
are done
by computers, and this figures forecasted to grow in upcoming future. Therefor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "parents"?
parent
relate to mathematics
skeptically
and assertive that such an outdated subject should
be removed
from subject list.

However
, others adhere to the point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
subject plays pivotal role in child’s mental capacities.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
has
performed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
classes in later life more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with novel, creative concepts in various fields than those who fall behind at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
.
For example
, it has
been proven
fact that when child trying to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
task he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
the parts of the brain which is responsible for critical thinking and comprehending tasks from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. For such
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a reason" or simply "reasons"?
a reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
allocate great deal of importance to mathematics at schools.

In conclusion
, it has become controversial issue among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as should their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or not. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
against, others are
Consider using a past participle here: "contended".
contend
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
exposure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught, while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used in life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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