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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views. v.3

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. v. 3
Some people argue that animals should not be kept in zoos, while others believe that zoos are of ecologically importance as well as entertaining. From my point of view, I am completely in favor of the idea that zoos exert more positive impacts upon the whole community than negative ones. On the one hand, keeping animals in zoos still have some drawbacks. Firstly, zoos animals are kept in artificial environments which will make hunters lose the freedom to hunt for food. In fact, the best way to save endangered species is by protecting their natural habitats. Secondly, zoos are supposed to be unethical. To be more specific, many zoos exhibit animals with the aim of making money but we have no right to use them for entertainment or profit. On the other hand, their benefits far outweigh their disadvantages for a variety of reasons. The preliminary cause leading to maintaining zoos is that they play a fundamental role in wildlife conservation as they help to protect endangered species from illegal hunters. From economic perspective, zoos provide job opportunities for a great number of local people, which in turn results in higher incomes and living standards. Last but by no means least, zoos are interesting, educational and fun. For instance, they make a great day out for families. Children, in particular, are more likely to learn to appreciate wildlife and nature. In conclusion, although keeping animal in zoos can somehow have pernicious effects, I still support this way due to their profits bring to the world.
Some
people
argue that
animals
should not be
kept
in zoos, while others believe that zoos are of
ecologically
importance
as well
as entertaining. From my point of view, I am completely in favor of the
idea
that zoos exert more
positive
impacts upon the whole community than
negative
ones.

On the one hand, keeping
animals
in zoos
still
have
some
drawbacks.
Firstly
, zoos
animals
are
kept
in artificial environments which will
make
hunters lose the freedom to hunt for food. In fact, the best way to save endangered species is by protecting their natural habitats.
Secondly
, zoos
are supposed
to be unethical. To be more specific,
many
zoos exhibit
animals
with the aim of making money
but
we have no right to
use
them for entertainment or profit.

On the other hand
, their benefits far outweigh their disadvantages for a variety of reasons. The preliminary cause leading to maintaining zoos is that they play a fundamental role in wildlife conservation as they
help
to protect endangered species from illegal hunters. From economic perspective, zoos provide job opportunities for a great number of local
people
, which in turn results in higher incomes and living standards. Last
but
by no means least, zoos are interesting, educational and fun.
For instance
, they
make
a great day out for families. Children,
in particular
, are more likely to learn to appreciate wildlife and nature.

In conclusion
, although keeping
animal
in zoos can somehow have pernicious effects, I
still
support this way due to their profits bring to the world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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