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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. v. 5
Diet and health are among some of the important topics which are of concerns to everyone. There are some people who think that everyone should take care of their own health and food. On the other hand, there are some who believe that it is the responsibility of the government to ensure that their citizens are having a healthy diet. My personal thought is that it is the duty of the individual person to maintain his health and to eat healthy food. This essay will give a summary of both views and give reasons as to why it is more of a personal responsibility. There is a saying that 'Health is Wealth' and indeed it is. Now a days people are trying a lot of things to keep themselves healthy. Sometimes they go to exercise in the gym, go for running in the morning and eat balanced food as well so that they do not become obese. They are maintaining their health and diet at a personal level and it is working very well for them, because no one knows a person better than himself. On the other hand, some group of people thinks that the government will take care of everyone's healthy diet. The authority will decide what people will eat and what exercise will they do. Personally, I do not see how it is possible, because government cannot go to everyone and impose laws that everyone should do some physical exercise and eat a balanced diet. If people are not self-motivated they will simply ignore the order and will do as they wish. To summarize the above discussion, I believe there is no alternative to self-motivation. If the people themselves do not want to be healthy, no one can make them healthy. Hence, I think every person should take care of themselves by eating a balanced diet and doing regular physical exercise.
Diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
are among
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topics which are of concerns to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
should take care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and food.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who believe that it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to ensure that their citizens are having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet. My personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that it is the duty of the individual person to maintain his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food. This essay will give a summary of both views and give reasons as to why it is more of a personal responsibility.

There is a saying that 'Health is Wealth' and
indeed
it is.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in the gym, go for running in the morning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
balanced food
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not become obese. They are maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and diet at a personal level and it is working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one knows a person better than himself.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will take care of everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet. The authority will decide what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
will they do.
Personally
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it is possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
and impose laws that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
a balanced diet. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not self-motivated they will
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the order and will do as they wish.

To summarize
the above discussion, I believe there is no alternative to self-motivation. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves do not want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every person should take care of themselves by eating a balanced diet and doing regular physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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