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Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others think that there are better ways to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others think that there are better ways to show that we care. v. 2
Gifting is a common practise that happens all around the globe and is considered to be a remarkable way to show love and gratitude to your loved ones. While, on the other hand, people believe that there are many different ideas to show someone that you actually care for them. In this particular essay we are going to discuss both of these views. Firstly, considering the trend of gifting, it will always be considered as a noteworthy way to show affection to someone, perhaps, it is also an easy escape for many people. Secondly, giving gifts is an old traditional trend that can never be eradicated. In addition to this, people love to give gifts no matter it is an expensive one or not the sense of pleasure that is derived through it is the most expensive feeling. However, on the other hand, certain people hold a different opinion. As they believe that there are many other way to show care and respect to others. For example, you cannot appear on someones funeral with a gift, as your main motive was to show love for them, but you will not. Besides this, just being available for a person that needs you in his hard time is the most essential thing. Furthermore, giving surprises to your friends and parents on their big days, apart for giving presents is also a great gesture as it requires your real efforts. All in all, in my personal opinion, giving gifts and presents to your peers will always be the best way to shower them with your love, whereas, extra efforts apart from gifting shows your true love and willingness to make someone happy.
Gifting is a common
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
that happens all around the globe and
is considered
to be a remarkable way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and gratitude to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. While, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
that you actually care for them. In this particular essay we are going to discuss both of these views.

Firstly
, considering the trend of gifting, it will always
be considered
as a noteworthy way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
affection to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
, perhaps, it is
also
an easy escape for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditional trend that can never
be eradicated
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
no matter it is an expensive one or not the sense of pleasure that
is derived
through it is the most expensive feeling.

However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion. As they believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
care and respect to others.
For example
, you cannot appear on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "someones'" or "someone's"?
someones
funeral with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
, as your main motive was to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you will not.
Besides
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being available for a person that needs you in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time is the most essential thing.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
surprises to your friends and parents on their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
days, apart for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
presents is
also
a great gesture as it requires your real efforts.

All in all, in my personal opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
and presents to your peers will always be the best way to shower them with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
, whereas, extra efforts apart from gifting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
your true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and willingness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
happy.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others think that there are better ways to show that we care. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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