Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them others think there are better ways to show that we care about them 2

It is true that our beloved ones should be given a great care of by us, since we love them. Moreover, this is the most important part of our life to show attention to our relatives and friends. In my opinion, however, there are more lucrative ways to show our affection, which I am going to discuss here. Firstly, while presenting gifts and presents make our beloved ones very happy, it is always difficult to guess what exactly they need. In addition, even if they show the joy when given presents, they would never tell you the truth about how these presents are liked. For instance, different surveys concluded that the majority of the presents after main holidays are being thrown as a waste. Although, giving gifts and presents is a fancy way to show the love, it is gradually becoming an outdated habit. On the other hand, if someone comes up with an alternative way to bring a joy to your friends and family, they can always add up a surprise to the action. In other words, rather than just giving a certain gift, one can present a gift card for a certain amount in order to enable your close ones to buy whatever they want to. For example, the recent Walmart statistics have indicated that the volume of the gift cards surpassed the volume of the actual presents in the last year. As a result, more and more popularity gain such presents as travel tickets and holiday packages, which the people generally happier than when giving them ordinary presents. In conclusion, the gift's market is growing day by day and there are many new alternatives to the habitual ways to bring joy to people. Hence, I personally strongly vote for the new path to make our celebrations better.

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them others think there are better ways to show that we care about them discuss both ways and give your opinion v.2

It is true that our beloved ones should be
given
a great care of by us, since we
love
them.
Moreover
, this is the most
important
part of our life to
show
attention to our relatives and friends. In my opinion,
however
, there are more lucrative ways to
show
our affection, which I am going to discuss here.
Firstly
, while presenting gifts and presents
make
our beloved ones
very
happy, it is always difficult to guess what exactly they need.
In addition
, even if they
show
the joy when
given
presents, they would never
tell
you the truth about how these presents
are liked
.
For instance
,
different
surveys concluded that the majority of the presents after main holidays are
being thrown
as a waste. Although, giving gifts and presents is a fancy way to
show
the
love
, it is
gradually
becoming an outdated habit.
On the other hand
, if someone
comes
up with an alternative way to bring a joy to your friends and family, they can always
add
up a surprise to the action.
In other words
,
rather
than
just
giving a certain gift, one can present a gift card for a certain amount in order to enable your close ones to
buy
whatever they want to.
For example
, the recent Walmart statistics have indicated that the volume of the gift cards surpassed the volume of the actual presents in the last year.
As a result
, more and more popularity gain such presents as travel tickets and holiday packages, which the
people
generally
happier than when giving them ordinary presents.
In conclusion
, the gift's market is growing day by day and there are
many
new alternatives to the habitual ways to bring joy to
people
.
Hence
, I
personally
strongly
vote for the new path to
make
our celebrations better.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
4 paragraphs
300 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
Similar essay posts: