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Some people believe that it is good idea to express that point of view and ideas through social media however others believe opposite do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people believe that it is good idea to express that point of view and ideas through social media however others believe opposite v. 1
Momentarily, Due to cutting-edge environment, people life has been modified drastically than in the past. As a result, some individual opine that social media would consider as a good advancement of innovation to represent thought and get an enlightenment about current affairs, whereas others are not supporting this. I strongly support the former view and supporting arguments are given in following paragraphs. To begin with, One of the important reason is that this modernization will provide a platform of sharing of information through which person can get details about the brand also make advertisement of their item, so patriot become exited to get such items. Consequently, one should get feedback about the things also details about how to use such product and what precautions has to take during the use. For example, social media such as Facebook, twitter and Linkdin person can get idea about one’s business and follows a common man whom having same analytic thinking. Thus, this type of communication make person to connect and updated about the facts of the universe. The other reason is that using this medium one should start to represent their view against the authority and give fight for their rights. Even some time they start to make some communities which work for people who suffering from many health problems, provide education to poor children. By doing such cultivation creates good values in the society and this also helps to nation to improve their wealth. For instance, Research conducted shows that community group on the social media work to help a human being during the flood at Kedarnath; providing food and medicine. Hence, using this type of medium one gets help others and fight for their rights. To conclude, by the use of automation one should get information about the news and product. Also take benefit of it by sharing their product for the marketing and also do some community work by responding to some task. The government should also promote such activity.
Momentarily
, Due to cutting-edge environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
life has
been modified
Use "(drastically)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
drastically
than in the past.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "individuals"?
individual
opine that social media would consider as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advancement of innovation to represent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an enlightenment about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs, whereas others are not supporting this. I
strongly
support the former view and supporting arguments are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that this modernization will provide a platform of sharing of information through which person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the brand
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
their item,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
patriot become exited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such items.
Consequently
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
feedback about the things
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such product and what precautions
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "have", "haven".
has
to take during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, social media such as Facebook, twitter and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkdin
person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about one’s business and follows a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
whom having same analytic thinking.
Thus
, this type of communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
person to connect and updated about the facts of the universe.

The other reason is that using this medium one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to represent their view against the authority and give fight for their rights. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
communities which work for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems, provide education to poor children. By doing such cultivation creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values in the society and this
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their wealth.
For instance
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that community group on the social media work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a human being during the flood at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kedarnath
; providing food and medicine.
Hence
, using this type of medium one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others and fight for their rights.

To conclude
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of automation one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about the news and product.
Also
take benefit of it by sharing their product for the marketing and
also
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
community work by responding to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
task. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
promote such activity.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good idea to express that point of view and ideas through social media however others believe opposite v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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