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Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media and others believe opposite. v.1

Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media and others believe opposite. v. 1
In today's cutting-edge, social media is one of the most important tool on which people shares their views and ideas with a logical situation and which is important for the country. Whilst, other people believe opposite of these statements. I agree with this statement and the reasons of my inclination are articulated in the following paragraph. At the outset, the first and foremost reasons are about the people who shares their ideas and views on social media and make some comments on it. There are myriads of post on social media but the one post is about the Indian army, which shows the numbers of views and the collect donation for a noble cause. For example, Akshay Kumar start the website to receive a donation that can be utilised for the welfare of army man's families. The second reason is about to maintain cleanliness or discipline or traffic control by posting pictures. To cite an example, the government had announced a scheme of cleanliness and people should follow the basic rules and regulations in the society. However, the some people spread rumours on social media and it can cause a controversy or dispute when it shares their ideas on specific cast, community, gender, thus may cause legal issues. For instance, the people facing problems with the cast because the government had separated the percentage on cast gave discrimination and it may cause a problem. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can be concluded that, the people are giving their own views with a logical and understanding the current scenario on the social media and it gives a good message to the country.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's cutting-edge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
shares
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with a logical situation and which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the country. Whilst, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe opposite of these statements. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and the reasons of my inclination
are articulated
in the following paragraph.

At the outset, the
first
and foremost reasons are about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "share"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
shares
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
comments on it. There are myriads of post on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one post is about the Indian army, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
and the collect donation for a noble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
.
For example
, Akshay Kumar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the website to receive a donation that can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for the welfare of army
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's families. The second reason is about to maintain cleanliness or discipline or traffic control by posting pictures. To cite an example, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had announced a scheme of cleanliness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations in the society.

However
, the
Did you mean "same"?
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spread
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a controversy or dispute when it shares their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
on specific cast, community, gender,
thus
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
legal issues.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing problems with the cast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had separated the percentage on cast gave discrimination and it may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a problem.

Agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can
be concluded
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
with a logical and understanding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and it gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
message to the country.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media and others believe opposite. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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