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Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media and others believe opposite v.2

Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media and others believe opposite v. 2
In today's cutting-edge, social media is one of the most important tool on which people shares their views and ideas with a logical situation and which is important for the country. Whilst, other people believe opposite of these statements. I agree with this statement and the reasons of my inclination are articulated in the following paragraph. At the outset, the first and foremost reasons are about the people who shares their ideas and views on social media and make some comments on it. Many people post the images and some articles on social media but the one post is viral nowadays is about the Indian army and they gave their whole life to their worldwide nations and give protection to their country, so the government decides to give a donation to army families when and Indian army is hanged till death. For example, Akshay Kumar is a well- known actor in the Bollywood industry and he starts the website to receive a donation that can be utilised for the welfare of army man's families. The second reason is about to maintain cleanliness or discipline or traffic control by posting pictures. To cite an example, the government had announced a scheme of cleanliness and people should follow the basic rules and regulations in the society. However, the some people spread rumours on social media and it can cause a controversy or dispute when it shares their ideas on specific cast, community, gender, thus may cause legal issues. For instance, the people facing problems with the cast because the government had separated the percentage on cast gave discrimination and it may cause a problem. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can be concluded that, the people are giving their own views with a logical and understanding the current scenario on of the social media and it gives a good message to the country.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's cutting-edge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
shares
their views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with a logical situation and which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the country. Whilst, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe opposite of these statements. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and the reasons of my inclination
are articulated
in the following paragraph.

At the outset, the
first
and foremost reasons are about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "share"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
shares
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and views on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
comments on it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
post the images and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
articles on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one post is viral nowadays is about the Indian
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
army and
they gave their whole life to their worldwide nations and give protection to their country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decides to give a donation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
families when and Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
is hanged
till death.
For example
, Akshay Kumar is a well- known actor in the Bollywood
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
industry and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
the website to receive a donation that can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for the welfare of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's families. The second reason is about to maintain cleanliness or discipline or traffic control by posting pictures. To cite an example, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had announced a scheme of cleanliness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations in the society.

However
, the
Did you mean "same"?
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spread
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and it can cause a controversy or dispute when it shares their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
on specific cast, community, gender,
thus
may cause legal issues.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing problems with the cast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had separated the percentage on cast gave discrimination and it may cause a problem.

Agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can
be concluded
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views with a logical and understanding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario on of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and it gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
message to the country.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media and others believe opposite v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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