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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on subjects they are good at or find the most interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.14

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on subjects they are good at or find the most interesting. v. 14
In this modern age, there are a number of things to learn from young people in school. It is argued in adults that kids should put their focus on all subjects, whereas others believe that it is best for children to decide on their own. This essay will discuss both sides along with my opinion that a child should decide what interests him or her. First of all, educational institutes are built in order to provide young adults appropriate knowledge on every subject in order for the child to be resourceful. It is believed by some grownups that their child should focus on everything that is taught, thus increasing the burden on kids. For instance, learning institutes in India mainly focuses on teaching children every aspect of theoretical education rather than physical. Thus, as the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" fits very much in this case, which results in child to burn out from studies, but gain a lot of theoretical knowledge. On the other hand, if adolescents are given a choice as to which area to pursue and to what he or she is fascinated with, they are more likely to succeed. Teenagers when allowed to make decisions on areas of study that they like, will give their 120 percent because they enjoy doing it and will never get bored of it, as a result they excel at this and score better in their exams. For example, a recent study concluded that boys and girls who choose their own subjects are more likely to be happy and content with their life, as compared to their peers. So, it is important to let them decide their area of interest rather than forcing them. In conclusion, rather than pouring materials on every subject in school, it is better for young children to pave their own path by focusing on what they like. This essay discussed both opposing views and also established that why it is important to let adolescents have the freedom to choose.
In this modern age, there are a number of things to learn from young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in school. It
is argued
in adults that kids should put their focus on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, whereas others believe that it is best for children to decide on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This essay will discuss both sides along with my opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should decide what interests him or her.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, educational institutes
are built
in order to provide young adults appropriate knowledge on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in order for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to be resourceful. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
grownups that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should focus on everything that
is taught
,
thus
increasing the burden on kids.
For instance
, learning institutes in India
mainly
focuses on teaching children every aspect of theoretical education
rather
than physical.
Thus
, as the saying goes,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
All work and no play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Jack a dull boy
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
fits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
in this case
, which results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to burn out from studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
theoretical knowledge.

On the other hand
, if adolescents are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a choice as to which area to pursue and to what he or she
is fascinated
with, they are more likely to succeed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions on areas of study that they like, will give their 120 percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enjoy doing it and will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
it,
as a result
they excel at this and score better in their exams.
For example
, a recent study concluded that boys and girls who choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more likely to be happy and content with their life, as compared to their peers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them decide their area of interest
rather
than forcing them.

In conclusion
,
rather
than pouring materials on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in school, it is better for young children to pave their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path by focusing on what they like. This essay discussed both opposing views and
also
established that why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
adolescents have the freedom to choose.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on subjects they are good at or find the most interesting. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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