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Today, prison is the most common solution for crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any v.2

Today, prison is the most common solution for crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals. 2
Nowadays, prison is one of the most controversial issues that people like debating about. Many people believe that the wide use of prison will promote socializing criminals in a positive way, on the contrary, others think that the more effective resolution is to reform people with proper education according to their level of education. In this essay, I will address my opinion of the topic and give supportive examples. Obviously, in my opinion, we should have to encourage inmates to study themselves so that they can remain their interests of education. Many news presenters say, most of the criminals are not serial killers or crucial crimes unless light penalty of the crime. And their intellectual capacities are lower than other ordinary human that is caused from their family background. More than 60 percentage of criminals have lack of education, love, interest and enough support from their guidance. For example, by training selected prisoners such as frauds, scammers, thieve, and having less than 6 years penalty in Korea (especially, women prison), there seems appear not to return to prison for good. Therefore, I totally agree that criminals need diverse education for making their own living. The government should support them not to come back. If they get a job, they will independent on themselves, not relying on their fraud skills. Even though it takes a lot of work and efforts, it will be worthwhile for their future. The human' s basic needs are contained not only food, water, clothing and shelter but also education. In conclusion, managing and controlling dwellers safely is essential condition of human right. The contribution of time expense of educating to people who have inappropriate direction from their households is to provide by governmental social security.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is one of the most controversial issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like debating about.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the wide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
will promote socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way,
on the contrary
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the more effective resolution is to reform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
according to their level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In this essay, I will address my opinion of the topic and give supportive examples.

Obviously
, in my opinion, we should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encourage inmates to study themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can remain their interests of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
news presenters say, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not serial killers or crucial crimes unless light penalty of the crime. And their intellectual capacities are lower than other ordinary human that
is caused
from their family background. More than 60 percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, interest and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
support from their guidance.
For example
, by training selected prisoners such as frauds, scammers, thieve, and having less than 6 years penalty in Korea (
especially
, women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison)
, there
Probably a preposition is missing after 'seems'.
seems appear
not to return to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Therefore
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
need diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should support them not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, they
The word 'independent' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will independent
on themselves, not relying on their fraud
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Even though
it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work and efforts, it will be worthwhile for their future. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s basic needs
are contained
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
food, water, clothing and shelter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
education.

In conclusion
, managing and controlling dwellers
safely
is essential condition of human right. The contribution of time expense of educating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have inappropriate direction from their households is to provide by governmental social security.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, prison is the most common solution for crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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